The narcissist seems to remember every time you wronged them and made them upset but can't seem to remember what is important to you or plans they made with you. If you step back and look at what the narcissist remembers and what they forget, you will see their memory is in fact selective.
Reality Check 101
It's true: Your narcissistic ex will remember you but not — never — in the way you hope they will, as the “great love of their life”. Most of the time they won't even think about you and you know why: They're too busy spinning their web to snare the next unsuspecting spider.
Together, past research has focused on narcissists' ability to remember self-relevant information and reason about the mental state of others. Narcissists tend to be selective about what they remember or have worse memory compared to non-narcissists.
Narcissistic individuals' excessive self-focus predicted this memory deficit (Study 4 [N = 187]). Grandiose narcissism may therefore influence visual recognition memory, highlighting the potential for future research linking personality and cognitive performance.
The researchers found that while many narcissists may perceive themselves as highly intelligent, critical thinkers, they are less likely to use important reflective thinking strategies when solving problems, Therefore, the high levels of confidence they have in their intellectual abilities are often misplaced.
Grandiose sense of self-importance
Grandiosity is the defining characteristic of narcissism. More than just arrogance or vanity, grandiosity is an unrealistic sense of superiority. Narcissists believe they are unique or “special” and can only be understood by other special people.
Cerebral narcissists, also known as intellectual narcissists, are individuals who try to fulfill their narcissistic supply through their perceived intelligence. While intellectual narcissists are generally smart, they may present as if they are more educated than they really are.
Habitual Non-Listening
Ever spoken with someone who responded dismissively to everything you said? Narcissists brush aside or deprecate what others say instead of truly listening.
Constantly berated, blamed, excluded, and ignored, the devalued or “bad object” is the narcissist's scapegoat for anything and everything that goes wrong in his or her life. Typically, many people in a narcissist's inner circle began as idealized objects. Wooing them is how the narcissist “reels” them in.
The reality is that most people with narcissistic personality disorder have a perfectly adequate memory. It is just highly selective and focused on what they want to be true. They take Ray S. Jones position: “The truth is what we say it is…
The narcissist and psychopath do not remember their previous tales because they are not invested with the emotions and cognitions that are integral parts of real memories.
"Grandiose narcissism appears to correlate positively with healthy self-esteem and extroversion," Papageorgiou says. These types of narcissists tend to be very confident, which is a good thing. (A vulnerable narcissist, on the other hand, might be overly sensitive.)
Positive traits of “healthy narcissism” might include: positive self-image. high self-esteem. ample self-confidence.
Unless they have had a lot of successful psychotherapy for their NPD, they do not feel guilt, shame, or self-doubt so long as their narcissistic defenses hold. This means that they do not think there is anything for them to regret, no matter how hurt you feel.
The cerebral cortex has also been found to be less developed in narcissists and this area is responsible for memory, emotions and behaviour. Therefore the narcissist seems to move on so fast because their emotions are not as deep as ours but also, they don't form memories in the same way the rest of us do.
Research suggests that narcissists are at a higher risk of developing Alzheimer's disease. The link between narcissism and Alzheimer's disease isn't completely clear, but it may be caused by the long-term effects of narcissistic personality disorder on the brain.
At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.
Contrary to the external confidence, arrogance, and insensitivity, people with pathological narcissism and NPD tend to struggle with a shifting and conflicting sense of self and identity. Underneath a more noticeable self-praising or self-enhancing outward facade they can be excessively self-critical and judgmental.
“To what extent do you agree with this statement: 'I am a narcissist.'” Scientists believe that this question could be all researchers need to make a quick and easy diagnosis of narcissism.
Mild: A mildly narcissistic person might be egotistical or boastful about their accomplishments but still function well in society.
The opposite of a narcissist is called an 'empath'— here are the signs you could be one. People who are very receptive to the emotions of others are known as empaths. They are also very sensitive to noise, smell, and being around people. This means they are overwhelmed in crowds, and get exhausted in social situations.
They sometimes lead to the Serotonin syndrome, which includes agitation and exacerbates the rage attacks typical of a narcissist. SSRIs do lead at times to delirium and a manic phase and even to psychotic microepisodes.
Narcissism is positively associated with self-assessed intelligence, but not objective intelligence.