Because narcissists often have a huge sense of entitlement coupled with a complete lack of empathy. As far as they're concerned, they were due a gift from you and the attention, so they owe you no thanks. They don't care about the money, time and effort you spent obtaining that gift.
If you know someone is a narcissist, do not accept gifts from them. It gives them a sense of entitlement that "you owe them" and if the gift is extravagant, you will be expected to give them the same type of gift in return or something even more extravagant.
No matter how thoughtful your attempt, no matter how much time or money you spent, no matter how many people were put out on the narcissist's behalf, the narcissist will not thank you. You're only giving them something they believe they are entitled to.
Specifically, narcissists give gifts with an eye to maintaining a relationship with the giver and to maintaining control in that relationship. You don't get expensive gifts from a narcissist because they think you are awesome; you get valuable gifts because they want you to continue to think that they are awesome.
They Don't Appreciate You
Narcissists have extreme difficulty really appreciating others. “They cannot simply enjoy you for who you are, feel proud of you, or acknowledge your efforts in any capacity—for example, when you're trying to help or make them happy,” says Dr.
They demand respect, and give none in return. For a narcissist, their needs must always be put first, and they will never reciprocate those feelings for anyone else. The world revolves around them, and everyone who happens to be part of that world should go along with it.
Narcissists are some of the most generous people you will ever meet. In many ways, they define themselves by how well they are able to please others, since it reflects back on being able to please themselves. Narcissists require a lot of gratitude and positive feedback.
One of the common ways narcissists manage their shaky sense of self-esteem is by comparing themselves to others and convincing themselves that they are better. So, by being or appearing as giving and helpful, they can feel superior to others.
Narcissists believe that they deserve the best, regardless of cost. Hence, they may recklessly purchase status items and indulge in expensive experiences to make them feel like VIPs. Narcissists may donate generously to a cause or to helping others out in order to reflect well on themselves.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
Humans are strongly reciprocal in nature. Healthy relationships are built on giving and getting in return. A gulf in reciprocity creates a power imbalance. This is why gifts are a common tool for manipulation.
Over time, people in long-term relationships of any kind with narcissists may feel tense as that person's birthday approaches." On the other end of the spectrum, however, there are narcissists who don't like their birthdays because they are reminders of ageing, or they find them overly emotional.
Narcissists don't give gifts like normal people. When a normal person gives a gift, they generally think about the person that they are getting it for and they put thought and care and meaning behind every gift. But we have to remember that narcissists don't really know you.
Narcissists are more likely to wear expensive, flashy clothing, have an organized, neat appearance requiring a lot of preparation, and (in females) wear makeup and show cleavage.
Narcissists tend to focus on extrinsic motivators, like money and rewards, rather than personal growth and fulfillment. Because money and material wealth are highly important to narcissists, they often become a focal point of their relationships—sometimes resulting in financial abuse.
Narcissists require loyalty. That being said, the loyalty is only one way. Many narcissists demand loyalty from their partners, while hypocritically betraying the relationship themselves; sometimes by even cheating on their partners, with no remorse.
Love bombing is the act of lavishing someone with love, gifts, and attention to manipulate them. A narcissist may call you several times in a day telling you how much they love you. They may also send you flowers and expensive gifts. The effect of love bombing is that the target lowers their boundaries.
Generally, narcissists are very frugal with their money and defensive with it. When it comes to their possessions, they don't give them freely. There is, however, more to this greed than self-preservation. Due to their lack of empathy, narcissists may not understand the benefits of sharing their resources.
To narcissists, spending large amounts of money on others can be a way to get people to like them. They may be stingy in private, for example, but cover dinner for colleagues or give gifts just for show.
Humble narcissists bring the best of both worlds: they have bold visions, but they're also willing to acknowledge their weaknesses and learn from their mistakes. Humble narcissists have grand ambitions, but they don't feel entitled to them. They don't deny their weaknesses; they work to overcome them.