People with high levels of narcissistic admiration experienced less anxiety and sadness after a breakup and maintained positive perceptions of their exes. They were also more likely to initiate a breakup and attribute it to their lack of interest in their ex.
At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.
Those who have more severe symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder may also experience greater challenges in dealing with breakups. This means that they might use manipulation tactics and games, behave in vindictive ways because you left, or move on from the relationship with apparent ease and no regret.
As a general rule, narcissists don't miss or love their exes — but they'll work hard to convince you that they do. Ultimately, people with NPD are incapable of genuinely missing anybody.
They will never truly be happy because they don't have the emotional capacity for it. They can only play games and try to put others down. Show them you're living your best life without them, and they'll experience their own version of heartbreak.
In general, it may involve intense emotional reactions and a tendency toward vindictive behaviors, but it could also lead to depression and withdrawal. Narcissistic collapse isn't a permanent occurrence once it happens. Typically, the emotional pain will decrease and the person may return to feeling their usual.
Sometimes, the narcissist doesn't mean to hurt you. Being sensitive to everything is just how their brains work. And if they are — by their own logic — being attacked, they will bite back even harder. However, by their nature, they may also want to hurt you too, because it makes them feel superior.
A recent research study conducted byMogilski and Welling (2017) showed that those who had darker personality traits such as narcissism, psychopathy and duplicity tended to stay friends with their exes out of pragmatism, sex and access to resources.
"The central motivator for narcissists is validation," she explains. "And an ex is often a really interesting place to get it... They constantly need that fresh narcissistic supply, and they kind of know what an ex's supply is like."
People with high levels of narcissistic admiration experienced less anxiety and sadness after a breakup and maintained positive perceptions of their exes. They were also more likely to initiate a breakup and attribute it to their lack of interest in their ex.
Whatever the reasons for starting the relationship, it will eventually end. Narcissists tire of their victims when they've exhausted their supply of care, money, or whatever else they were after. As quickly as they entered your life, they leave it, which can leave the victim incredibly confused, broken, and lost.
It is common for people with a narcissistic personality disorder to regret discarding or losing someone, but it does not mean what you might think. If they feel regret, it is not because they hurt you. It is for losing something that they value.
Blame you
Now that the narcissist sees the relationship as broken, damaged, and ending—it's all your fault. They say you're too fat or too needy or too happy. You have wrecked things, destroyed the trust, ruined the best thing you ever had, crushed their love.
They'll resort to love bombing, self-esteem reduction, and emotional manipulation to keep their ex under the thumb. The truth is, these games send subliminal messages to the victims that they'll never truly break free and get their lives back.
They are likely to give you the fight of your life because they're not done with you yet. Narcissists hate losing their supply, so they won't let you go easily. Prepare for them to promise "to change." They might suddenly start doing things for you that you'd been complaining about.
Narcissists can never really love anyone.
That's why it's important to remember that no matter how happy and loved-up they look with their new partner, it's only a matter of time before they start being belittled and insulted too. Narcissists can never really love anyone.
The narcissist's jealousy will lead them to want to drag you back down to the level you were at when you were together. Miserable and dependent on them! The narcissist's jealousy may even lead them to try and sabotage your new relationship by spreading rumors about you or your new partner.
They will bombard their exes with affection and attention
Some narcissists understand this and may seek to use their ex's attachment to satisfy their need for validation. To this end, narcissists often bombard their exes with high amounts of affection and attention at once to reel the ex back in.
It's true: Your narcissistic ex will remember you but not — never — in the way you hope they will, as the “great love of their life”. Most of the time they won't even think about you and you know why: They're too busy spinning their web to snare the next unsuspecting spider.
Narcissists generally lack empathy for other people's feelings, so they won't understand where you're coming from. That's why it's so important to be consistent! The more consistent you are, the more miserable it will make the narcissist. They hate feeling like they can't get away with whatever they want.
Narcissists don't know they're hurting you. It doesn't even enter their minds. And, if you try to tell them how you feel, they get defensive and make you feel you're wrong again. In fact, they'll even rather “innocently” tell you: “I'm only trying to help you.”