It is a misconception that narcissists target weak, vulnerable people because they will be easier to manipulate. They actually go for the exact opposite. They look for people who are confident, successful, attractive and strong-willed.
In fact, narcissists are often attracted to strong, confident, and self-assured women. While this may seem counterintuitive, it is important to realize that the narcissistic traits of grandiosity and confidence are really a mask for deep insecurity.
1. It Makes Them Feel Worthy. In their core, narcissists fear (maybe even believe) that they are less than. When a narcissist meets a strong and confident person who has an exciting and vibrant life, they are drawn in.
Narcissists often look for victims who struggle with insecurity and low self-esteem. People who think less of themselves and struggle with the “I am not enough” mindset tend to attract toxic partners. People with self-esteem issues tend to think of themselves as imperfect or unlovable.
Narcissists also target your career success, physical health, and financial stability. "If the survivor is doing things on their own and is moving forward in life, building wealth, or financial stability, somebody will absolutely target that," Thomas said. "And not just to use it but to take it away.
It is a misconception that narcissists target weak, vulnerable people because they will be easier to manipulate. They actually go for the exact opposite. They look for people who are confident, successful, attractive and strong-willed.
Empath Emma. A lot has been said about the fatal attraction between empaths (people who are attuned to others' feelings) and narcissists. And for a good reason. An empath, who is used to sacrificing her own needs for others, is a natural fit for a narcissist, who is used to putting his own needs first.
A closet (or covert) narcissist is the type who does not want to be seen to be openly chasing the limelight, so they tend to choose victims who makes them look good by association. They'll usually go for successful people - those with high status who others admire.
One of the biggest insecurities of narcissists is their lack of emotional intelligence. They must learn how to be happy when their loved ones are happy. And offer comfort when they are sad. Until then, their insecurities around their lack of empathy will continue.
In fact, narcissists prefer to target someone who is strong-willed, and who has talents or characteristics they admire, because they believe it makes them shine too. "Narcissists are drawn to those who can boost their own self-esteem and validate their sense of importance," Wasser told Insider.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
Narcissistic collapse occurs when a narcissist's ability to uphold their grandiose, confident image is threatened. As a result, they often become enraged, resulting in impulsivity, intense lashing out, or harm to others.
And, if you try to tell them how you feel, they get defensive and make you feel you're wrong again. In fact, they'll even rather “innocently” tell you: “I'm only trying to help you.” Narcissists tear down your self-esteem; leave you swimming in self-doubt. It's how they feel superior.
They believe that others should be obedient to their wishes and that the rules don't apply to them. Another common trait of narcissism is manipulative or controlling behavior. A narcissist will at first try to please you and impress you, but eventually, their own needs will always come first.
The best way to shut down a narcissist is to walk away from them. If all else fails, you can physically remove yourself from the conversation. Even if they keep talking, simply turn around and walk away. If they follow you, close the door.
Cerebral Narcissists. As discussed earlier, the word somatic relates to the body. Therefore, somatic narcissists are obsessed with their physical appearance and weight, often securing self-worth from their body image. On the other hand, cerebral narcissists gain their sense of value from their intellect.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
Narcissists are hurt by challenges or threats to their superior and grandiose self-image (also known as narcissistic injury). Their sense of entitlement and lack of empathy means they will attempt to destroy the culprit by any means necessary.
A common misconception is that narcissists go for the weak, because they are easier to manipulate. In fact, narcissists prefer to try and hook someone in who is strong-willed, and who has talents or characteristics they admire. That way, they feel more accomplished if they succeed in tearing them down.
They get jealous about everything
They talk a good game, but narcissists actually have very low self-esteem. Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous.
The narcissist engages in sustained and piercing eye contact and normally refrains from bodily contact, physical proximity, or from entering in a discussion unless from a state of condescension, superiority and faked "magnanimity and largesse".