The most common narcissistic strategy is to pretend to be better than you actually are in order to impress, deceive, and manipulate others.
Treat Strangers Better Than You
So they don't feel the need to impress you any more. Narcissists save their best behaviour for those they want to impress. And these are usually people not as close to them. These might be co-workers, people at the gym, or even strangers.
They make you feel good (sometimes).
"As a result, a narcissist may be attracted to an individual who possesses attributes that they value and that they believe will enhance their image." If you look good to other people, they hope that makes them look good.
When narcissists fall in love, they become obsessed with being adored and admired by their partners. They may shower them with compliments and gifts or attempt to manipulate them through grand gestures of affection.
If you are a people pleaser, who likes others to need them, likes to be indispensable to others, you may find that you are attracted to narcissists and that they are attracted to you. Someone with narcissistic tendencies will be able to identify others who will allow them to be dominant in the relationship.
Why do narcissists gravitate to me? Many people attract narcissists because they exhibit a personality trait that satisfies the abuser's needs. Narcissists tend to toy with other people's feelings, so when you don't know how to guard your emotions properly, you will naturally appeal to a narcissist.
It is a misconception that narcissists target weak, vulnerable people because they will be easier to manipulate. They actually go for the exact opposite. They look for people who are confident, successful, attractive and strong-willed.
Narcissists can love, but this superficial and momentary affection serves as a way to get what they want from others. While their role as caring partners, parents, or friends may appear genuine, a lack of empathy and devotion to themselves renders narcissists unable to develop meaningful relationships.
Put Your Needs First. Narcissists make others feel guilty about being happy because they expect everyone to put the narcissist's happiness first. If you're not constantly praising them or accepting their criticisms that make them feel superior, they won't be satisfied.
They can show great interest in romantic prospects and seduce with generosity, expressions of love, flattery, sex, romance, and promises of commitment. Amorous narcissists (Don Juan and Mata Hari types) are adept and persuasive lovers and may have many conquests, yet remain single.
They deeply believe in their own attractiveness
Narcissists are good-looking. Or, perhaps more importantly, they believe that they are – and this belief plays a role in how they move through the world: confident in their ability to make other people want to have sex with them.
Is the narcissist in your life playful, flirtatious, and noncommittal? If so, it might be a sign that they like you. According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, narcissists tend to exhibit a Ludus love style, which is characterized by a fun, no strings attached attitude.
The strong attraction between narcissists and people pleasers is no accident. There is a magnetic pull between the two that is very difficult to break because each is meeting a deep need of the other. This is not the fault of one over the other. Rather, it is an unhealthy union that breeds dysfunction.
One of the most common misconceptions is that narcissists only look for emotionally dependent partners who lack confidence and self-esteem. In fact, narcissists are often attracted to strong, confident, and self-assured women.
But this was not the case for narcissists—they were significantly more satisfied with partners who met their ideals for attractiveness, status, and vitality. This shows that not only do narcissists value “trophy” traits in a partner, but they are happier with their relationships when they obtain those traits.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
Similarly, narcissists use a sparse and unpredictable pattern to dole out treats such as praise, attention, money and opportunities. Every once in a while a narcissist will say something nice to you, do something for you, or bestow his or her charm or attention on you. The rewards seem magnified because they are rare.
Gaslighters/narcissists can never fully compliment someone unless there is an insult tied to it. In broad terms, it's sometimes known as a “backhanded compliment.” An example would be, “I like your dress, it almost fits you.” The compliment-insult, or complisult, first sets you up, trusting the person ever so slightly.
Therefore, somatic narcissists are obsessed with their physical appearance and weight, often securing self-worth from their body image. On the other hand, cerebral narcissists gain their sense of value from their intellect.
People with type A personalities attract narcissists, but a relationship between the two is a recipe for disaster. Narcissists know exactly who to target. Often they go after people with high levels of empathy.
Narcissists are attracted to certain types of people. Rather than weak, vulnerable people, they tend to go for the strong-willed and talented. They are also attracted to people who reflect well on themselves.
The narcissist engages in sustained and piercing eye contact and normally refrains from bodily contact, physical proximity, or from entering in a discussion unless from a state of condescension, superiority and faked "magnanimity and largesse".