A narcissist won't forget you, just because he/she doesn't feel or think like you doesn't mean he/she will. It seems that once the narcissist is done with you, tomorrow he/she will live as if nothing ever happened.
It's true: Your narcissistic ex will remember you but not — never — in the way you hope they will, as the “great love of their life”.
It is common for people with a narcissistic personality disorder to regret discarding or losing someone, but it does not mean what you might think. If they feel regret, it is not because they hurt you. It is for losing something that they value. You are a possession, not a real person.
Why do narcissists often forget the little details you tell them? They “seem” to forget because they are only listening for something they can use. If it's a detail they don't need or aren't interested in, they dismiss it and they really don't care that you know that.
So when the relationship that a narcissist has with someone ends, it is common for them to move on very quickly because they need to find a new source of supply before they become consumed by their painful thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
In fact, narcissists prefer to target someone who is strong-willed, and who has talents or characteristics they admire, because they believe it makes them shine too. "Narcissists are drawn to those who can boost their own self-esteem and validate their sense of importance," Wasser told Insider.
Some narcissists may be able to feel bad about something they've done to hurt someone else. It isn't guilt they feel, so much as regret (or even anger) that things happened the way they did. But any “remorse” they feel is likely to be about how that behavior affected them rather than how it affected the victim.
The signs of narcissistic collapse may vary from person to person. In general, it may involve intense emotional reactions and a tendency toward vindictive behaviors, but it could also lead to depression and withdrawal. Narcissistic collapse isn't a permanent occurrence once it happens.
Instead of turning to a person they love in such moments for comfort or compassion, the narcissist avoids any intimacy for fear of further exposure. Instead, they verbally lash out at the person who is most likely to be supportive. When the narcissist receives any resistance or discomfort, they leave.
But here is the rub: Over time, the narcissist usually senses that you are pulling away, and it is then that your problems take on a different form. Narcissists hate feeling that they might be rejected or that you might conclude that they are defective. So, they go into compensation mode by turning the tables.
When that occurs, ancient feelings of emptiness, abandonment, and shame return with such “vengeance" that they're compelled to turn up their defenses a notch, prompting them to further denigrate—through what's commonly referred to as "narcissistic rage"—those now able to see through their façade.
Those who have more severe symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder may also experience greater challenges in dealing with breakups. This means that they might use manipulation tactics and games, behave in vindictive ways because you left, or move on from the relationship with apparent ease and no regret.
With a narcissist, he says, it's important to understand that they can't love you back in the same way as you love them. Narcissists aren't capable of loving others because they don't know how to love themselves. “Narcissists are unable to see beyond themselves and what they need at any given moment.
Why a narcissist won't leave you alone after your relationship ends, according to a psychologist. If you end a relationship with a narcissist and cut off all contact, they may view it as a blow to their self-esteem. As a result, they may ignore your no-contact boundary and try to make you feel guilty.
Discard/Rejection: When the narcissist gets bored or decides the person is no longer useful enough to them, they'll often end the relationship and 'discard' the person. Sometimes, this ending is final. Other times, a narcissist will use hoovering to lure the person back into the relationship and repeat the cycle.
The grief heals slowly and leaves scars. When the numbness has worn off there is deep pain and then there are attacks of emotional distress. Feeling desperate for the pain to stop, panic about never ending loneliness and doubt about leaving are common.
While people with narcissism aren't devoid of emotions, their motivations may be self-focused. They can know they're hurting your feelings, but as long as it elevates their status, they may not care. Someone living with narcissism does cry. They can feel regret, remorse, and sadness.
Ultimately, it is important to remember that narcissists can and do love—but their love may never be the same as a healthy, unconditional bond.
Narcissists can feel emotional pain, but not usually in the same way as others. The emotional pain they may feel is usually related to underlying selfish needs. Underneath the displays of superiority and sense of entitlement, they often feel empty, powerless, and shameful, which they perceive as weakness.
Why a narcissist won't leave you alone after your relationship ends, according to a psychologist. If you end a relationship with a narcissist and cut off all contact, they may view it as a blow to their self-esteem. As a result, they may ignore your no-contact boundary and try to make you feel guilty.
Narcissistic relationships can last anywhere from a few days or weeks to many years. There are anecdotal observations suggesting that the average length of a narcissistic relationship is around six months, but no empirical evidence supports this claim.
There are four distinct phases that these types of relationships typically go through: idealization, devaluation, discard, and hoover. And at times, it may feel like you are on a not-so-merry-go-round going round-and-round through these phases many times over.