Narcissists tend to focus on extrinsic motivators, like money and rewards, rather than personal growth and fulfillment. Because money and material wealth are highly important to narcissists, they often become a focal point of their relationships—sometimes resulting in financial abuse.
Narcissists seek power over others to feel better about themselves, and money is a tool they use to manipulate and control.
What is this? Instead, narcissists like what money provides: security, power, self-esteem, freedom, and admiration from others. Money simply represents the vehicle driving them to their intended destination. Often, narcissists assume that money can help them buy love, happiness, and friendship.
And narcissists know this all too well. Even a little bit of money gives a narcissist a sense of power and domination over others. It starts off small with the little things like removing your name from the accounts and then grows into stealing, threats, and extortion.
Narcissists believe that they deserve the best, regardless of cost. Hence, they may recklessly purchase status items and indulge in expensive experiences to make them feel like VIPs. Narcissists may donate generously to a cause or to helping others out in order to reflect well on themselves.
Narcissists, however, may show off their wealth to other people. Their loved ones may receive amazing gifts during the holidays, or they may donate a considerable amount of money. The primary goal of these people isn't to be generous. Instead, they are trying to impress others.
Most narcissists enjoy an irrational and brief burst of relief after having suffered emotionally ("narcissistic injury") or after having sustained a loss. It is a sense of freedom, which comes with being unshackled.
They commonly regift items, leave their wallets at home, or refuse to share. Because they don't adhere to social norms, they don't care if people are affected by their cheapness. It's no wonder most narcissists don't have close friends. Narcissists, however, may show off their wealth to other people.
Narcissists enjoy using money and assets as a power tool, which often results in their partner being powerless. In situations like that, it may seem pretty hopeless, and many partners of narcissistic people wonder how they'll ever straighten out their situation.
Hiding assets.
They go to great pains to hide marital assets, sometimes setting up secret accounts, “lending” money to friends, or stashing cash in safe-deposit boxes. Because they're so grandiose, they don't believe they'll ever get caught.
Cerebral narcissists, also known as intellectual narcissists, are individuals who try to fulfill their narcissistic supply through their perceived intelligence. While intellectual narcissists are generally smart, they may present as if they are more educated than they really are.
Narcissists' strong desire to achieve and display status likely leads to higher levels of materialism. Furthermore, those high in narcissism possess an inflated, yet fragile, sense of self-esteem and become dependent on social sources for affirmation (Morf & Rhodewalt, 2001).
Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous. And not just about anyone potentially interested in you romantically, but anyone or anything that can take the focus off of them.
Narcissists are never generous with their own money, yet they expect others to cater to them (Burgemeester, 2021). What Is Narcissism?
A narcissist getting married is likely only if it serves their purpose, like image boosting, a readily available audience, or money.
Narcissists use sex and the pretence of emotion to control others. They like to be in control, and often derive pleasure from giving or withdrawing sex or affection to this end. 10. Narcissists are not really capable of feeling guilty, and feel no shame about lying if they think that it will get them what they want.
It is because of this that they may find it difficult to understand other people's feelings or perspectives, a self-centredness that can cause them to act selfishly and exploit others for their own gain. “As narcissists do not have empathy, they are not able to genuinely care or love you,” explains Davey.
If you're in a relationship with a narcissist, you may find that you're sacrificing things for the sake of their needs on a regular basis, but they refuse to do the same for you. It also means they'll do almost anything to others in order to meet their own needs.
We pitted two major theories against each other: social learning theory and psychoanalytic theory. Social learning theory holds that children are likely to grow up to be narcissistic when their parents overvalue them: when their parents see them as more special and more entitled than other children (9).
Look for support and purpose elsewhere
If you're going to stay in a relationship with a narcissist, be honest with yourself about what you can—and can't—expect. A narcissist isn't going to change into someone who truly values you, so you'll need to look elsewhere for emotional support and personal fulfillment.
Yup, that's right, they are already facing the wrath of Karma and they will continue to until their last breath. Narcissists' lives can be summarised this way — struggling to be loved; abusing and pushing the love away; ending up dying alone.
They like people who are strong
"Narcissists are drawn to those who can boost their own self-esteem and validate their sense of importance," Wasser told Insider. "Being associated with someone who is successful or admired can make the narcissist feel more important by proxy."
Indeed, we knew from prior work that narcissists fantasize about having power over others, and that their sense of self-worth fluctuates based on others' respect and admiration. To understand what narcissists want, it is critical to examine what makes them feel good and bad.
They deeply believe in their own attractiveness
Narcissists are good-looking. Or, perhaps more importantly, they believe that they are – and this belief plays a role in how they move through the world: confident in their ability to make other people want to have sex with them.