Often, people hurt others unintentionally—but sometimes, people deliberately set out to hurt others. If your partner puts you down in front of others, it may make her feel superior. If she criticises you, name calls, or puts down your achievements, it may make her feel like she has power within the relationship.
For most of us, hurting others causes us to feel their pain. And we don't like this feeling. This suggests two reasons people may harm the harmless – either they don't feel the others' pain or they enjoy feeling the others' pain. Another reason people harm the harmless is because they nonetheless see a threat.
The feeling of guilt can be horrible. It's a place none of us wishes to find ourselves. But unfortunately, things happen, and it's not uncommon to discover we've hurt someone so terribly that we become trapped with guilt.
Why hurting others helps us feel safe. When we hurt someone for no reason, it's because we fear rejection or disconnection from that person. We hope that, by lashing out, they'll show us more love, attention or understanding. As a result, we'll feel 'safer' in the relationship.
Someone who gets pleasure from hurting or humiliating others is a sadist. Sadists feel other people's pain more than is normal. And they enjoy it. At least, they do until it is over, when they may. The popular imagination associates sadism with torturers and murderers.
It may be because of emotional baggage, the desire to assert control or independence, to test boundaries, or simply, because people may just expect a lot from the other. Some may have a fear of intimacy, due to cultural upbringing, or because of living through traumatic or abusive relationships.
Harm can be intentional or unintentional and may not always be severe. However, regardless of the reason you've hurt someone, there may be steps you can take to repair your relationship.
You may hurt the one you love the most simply because they are the ones that are mostly around. Our emotions, thoughts and behaviours are in constant interplay. If we have a negative mood, we are therefore more likely to act in ways that match our emotional state or get triggered by innocuous and harmless stimuli.
Briefly describe what happened that felt hurtful or disrespectful. Say, “When I was talking, you (said or did this).” Don't go into a long story about what occurred or try to soften the blow by saying you know they didn't mean to be offensive. One sentence that describes your experience of their behavior is enough.
The best revenge is to learn to forgive, not to hold onto the anger inside. To forgive means to be free.
Inflicting pain on you may be a distraction from their own pain, a way of "getting even" for things which have happened to them and a way to feel something deeply in a way which makes sense to them, given their past experiences.
Recognize the value of forgiveness and how it can improve your life. Identify what needs healing and who you want to forgive. Join a support group or see a counselor. Acknowledge your emotions about the harm done to you, recognize how those emotions affect your behavior, and work to release them.
Sadists walk among us, and they are prone to being harmful to others. Such sadistic aggression appears to be driven by the pleasure of the act, is contingent on whether their victim is seen to suffer, and ultimately backfires, leaving sadists feeling worse than when they started.
The term "intentional" is used to refer to injuries resulting from purposeful human action, whether directed at oneself or others. Intentional injuries include self inflicted and interpersonal acts of violence intended to cause harm.
Love is closely connected with vulnerability: the ability to hurt and to be hurt. Although some kinds of hurt in love are intended, most of them are not. Nevertheless, someone who deliberately hurts another person can simultaneously claim to love that person.
If the person knows we are being hurt and doesn't care, the best is to forgive (to not feel pressured or guilty if we do care about this person), but also to keep distance in order to avoid future problems. Also, we must make sure we are communicating our concern in a clear and honest way.
To start with, many emotions go on when a man hurts you. Anger, frustration, disappointment, and resentment are a few of what a man feels when his woman is broken. The specific feeling a man has will depend on what caused the disagreement or fight in the first place.
Of course, they can also get angry, especially in response to provocation, or get frustrated when their goals are thwarted. So Villanelle is right, to some extent. You can hurt a psychopath's feelings, but probably different feelings and for different reasons.
If someone is being mean to you then it could be a way to gain control and power over a situation or you. This is often a ruse to show social control and dominance. For many, it is a coping mechanism, and reacting aggressively and saying mean things gives them some semblance of control.
The best way to avoid rude people is to meet their acts of rudeness with kindness and then remove yourself from their presence. If you can't do this and can't walk away, try grey rocking, which involves acting as unresponsive as possible like avoiding eye contact or not showing emotions when conversing.
They may simply be so self-absorbed that they are unaware of others, motivated to meet their own needs, and just oblivious even when it is at the expense of others. They may unwittingly say or do something hurtful, push their way in front of others, or disregard normal social behavior.