Just because they're happy together, doesn't mean they're not sleeping with others. We would all like to believe that affairs are the refuge of the discontented, that only people in unhappy marriages cheat. But “happy,” it turns out, is not a sufficient antidote to affair.
"It's important we recognize there are plenty of people in perfectly happy relationships who also cheat."
Finding the exact percentage of married couples that cheat is difficult because most studies rely on self-reporting. While research indicates men and women cheat at fairly close rates, it appears married men still cheat more than women. When you put the data together, about 15-20% of married couples cheat.
Infidelity can happen in all kinds of marriages. That includes marriages that seem happy, as well as those with many problems. Infidelity may happen due to a variety factors, including: Lack of affection.
Love and romance. Love, or romance can often be at the root of affairs, even when they occur between two married people. Romantic affairs are more serious as the parties are usually involved romantically and care deeply for one another. Unrequited feelings may also come under this classification.
Supporting data from the IFS 1990s survey also says that men have always been more inclined to cheat than women. But during this period, older men have the same tendency to cheat as their younger peers. The survey says that infidelity among men peaked at the age of 50 to 59 (31%).
People who cheat are likely impulsive and destructive at decision making. Instead of thinking about you and what happens to the relationship after cheating, they go based on what they want right now. Impulsiveness can be seen in other areas of the relationship, too. So keep an eye out.
A man can cheat and still love his wife.
The roller coaster of emotions that follows the discovery of his infidelity can be excruciating for both of you. It is entirely normal to experience intense emotional pain in response to infidelity. You may feel like running away or want to know everything about the other woman.
According to a survey of 1,000 people on how affairs get exposed, 39% of the respondents said they were caught when their partner read a message or two on their phones.
According to estimates based on married couples, approximately 25% of men admit to cheating on their spouse at some point, while around 15% of women admit to the same. Another study found that up to 4% of married individuals had cheated on their spouse in the past year.
For men, the peak age for cheating is 55 years old.
After those ages the likelihood of infidelity tends to decline.
Research from the past two decades shows that between 20 and 25 percent of married men cheat and between 10 and 15 percent of married women cheat, according to professor Nicholas Wolfinger.
Low sexual and relationship satisfaction, high sexual desire, and lack of love are the most robust predictors of infidelity. The gender gap in infidelity appears to be shrinking.
Research in the field of infidelity reveals that there are three distinct personality types correlated with a higher likelihood of cheating: sociopaths, narcissists, and lonely hearts.
Sometimes people cheat because of deep-seeded thrill seeking behavior. Knowing that something is wrong or taboo is exciting to some people, and can lead them to infidelity even if they are in a happy relationship.
Affairs: Why They Happen. There is seldom just one reason for an affair. The state of your relationship, the stresses and pressures of your life (finances, kids, job loss, depression, etc.), and your personal belief systems can all influence your vulnerability to an affair.
Furthermore, people who cheated on a spouse or partner will often seek to cheat again. On average, affairs usually end within 6 months to 2 years.
Surprisingly, these full-blown affairs almost never start at a bar or club. Instead, they usually begin in much more wholesome environments: The workplace. The workplace is where most affairs begin.
Among men, 68% feel guilty after having an affair. Even if they haven't confessed the affair, most cheating husbands will feel guilty and express that guilt in their behavior. You may notice subtle changes in their behavior that make you wonder if your spouse is displaying cheating husband guilt.
In surveys of individuals who have cheated, falling out of love, seeking variety, and feeling neglected were the most commonly cited reasons, followed by situational forces, a desire to raise self-esteem, and anger with a partner.
Some will behave very normally with their partners whereas, some men feel deep remorse and regret for cheating on their partner. “So, the main thing to keep in mind here is that every cheater is different. Their thoughts and feelings will be all over the place.
And yet, the real answer to this significant question is this: It is absolutely possible that your partner does love you, did love you before, and will continue to love you in the future. Infidelity does not mean that the love is gone or never existed. The reality is that you can love someone and still cheat on them.
An affair means you have little respect for your partner — so little, in fact, that you're happy to be indiscreet with someone else without your partner's knowledge. If you have so little respect for another human being, why are you in a long-term relationship with them?
Many people who cheat on their partners use secret messaging apps, like Signal, which allow them to chat with others discreetly. Depending on the cheating your partner is engaging in, whether sexual, emotional, or otherwise, there are different apps they might use to cheat or hide their behavior.
Strong partners
Most cheaters are afraid of being alone. Contradictory by nature, a cheating mate is actually terrified of his or her partner leaving. A strong spouse who is willing to walk away and have a life outside of the relationship is a scary scenario for an adulterer.