Typically, people do not know they are being manipulated because it is done in a way that conceals the manipulator's intention. It is using influence for a bad cause, to gain a personal advantage at the expense of someone else.
Examples of Manipulative Behavior
Sometimes, people may manipulate others unconsciously, without being fully aware of what they're doing, while others may actively work on strengthening their manipulation tactics. Some signs of manipulation include: Passive-aggressive behavior. Implicit threats.
According to therapist and relationship expert Ken Page, LCSW, everyone can be manipulative from time to time, sometimes without even realizing it. "We are all human, and all of us manipulate because it's a human defense mechanism," he says.
They know your weaknesses and how to exploit them. They use your insecurities against you. They convince you to give up something important to you, to make you more dependent on them. If they succeed in their manipulation, they will continue to do so until you get out of the situation.
There are feelings of resentment or anger.
"You may not feel safe to bring up your concerns, or you may fear that by speaking up, you'll be abandoned or rejected." Using the example from above, someone will feel angry at the person who manipulated them into doing something they didn't want to do.
It can usually be difficult for a person to know if they're being manipulated. Even some manipulators are sometimes not aware of their actions, so it can be really confusing to figure out when someone is a victim of manipulation. Manipulators often use fraudulent ways of gaining power over someone's emotions.
Manipulation is when a person uses controlling and harmful behaviors to avoid responsibility, conceal their true intentions, or cause doubt and confusion. Manipulation tactics, such as gaslighting, lying, blaming, criticizing, and shaming, can be incredibly damaging to a person's psychological well-being.
Some research shows that people who have the ability to be emotionally manipulative, have high levels of emotional intelligence, which can be seen as a positive asset to the workplace. Emotional manipulation is defined as the act of influencing another person's feelings and behaviours for one's own interest.
Denial: Manipulators may deny that they have done anything wrong when they are confronted. Rationalization: They will attempt to justify or explain their behavior. Minimization: This is a subtle blend of denial and rationalization. Manipulators often play down others' concerns about their behavior or actions.
Psychologists say the root cause of manipulative behavior can often be toxic cycles of violence, narcissism, or unhealthy relationships in the manipulator's own childhood. Manipulation can happen in any relational context, Balestrieri says, including family, friends, professional, romantic, or sexual relationships.
Manipulative behavior can be done consciously or subconsciously with ill or good intentions. It is a human trait, which means everyone has done something manipulative before. The tactics can be overt or subtle.
Deceitfulness and exceptional manipulative abilities are the most common traits among antisocial personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder. It is the major feature found in the dark triad personality traits, particularly Machiavellianism.
People manipulate others to get what they want. This type of behavior may have a number of causes including interpersonal dynamics, personality characteristics, a dysfunctional upbringing, attachment issues, or certain mental health conditions.
Borderline Personality Disorder.
Characterized by a fragile, fluctuating self-image and a profound fear of abandonment, borderlines can be master manipulators. Their controlling behaviors may range from subtle and ingratiating to threatening and violent.
The silent treatment, or stonewalling, is a passive-aggressive form of manipulation and can be considered emotional abuse. It is a way to control another person by withholding communication, refusing to talk, or ignoring the person.
Manipulators often play the victim role ("woe is me") by portraying themselves as victims of circumstances or someone else's behavior in order to gain pity or sympathy or to evoke compassion and thereby get something from someone.
Even without being conscious of it they will distance themselves from you. Thus manipulation can be effective but it usually takes up too much energy and ends up leaving you feeling lonely and disconnected. Not to mention, manipulation will prevent you from using your innate power and talents.
They have no ability to love, empathy, guilt, remorse, or conscience. To them, life is merely a game of taking power and control and getting what they want. They see vulnerability as a weakness and staying invulnerable is a great way to hide who they really are.