Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is an often misunderstood condition. To reduce the stigma around this complex condition, it's important to separate the myths from the facts. Historically, BPD has been linked with negative stereotypes.
Coping skills for BPD are often centered around learning to manage moments of emotional instability and/or control anger. Some techniques to help in these situations could include: Using stress-reduction techniques, like deep breathing or meditation. Engaging in light exercise, like walking or yoga.
People with BPD fear abandonment and have trouble maintaining relationships. Nevertheless, they tend to lie, which ruins trust and intimacy, fosters resentment, and harms the very relationships they fear losing. Many family members and friends of those with BPD cite lying as a major problem in their relationships.
Often, the borderline person is unaware of how they feel when their feelings surface, so they displace their feelings onto others as causing them. They may not realise that their feelings belong within them, so they think that their partner is responsible for hurting them and causing them to feel this way.
They tend to be stubborn, pessimistic and resentful as well. They teeter between extreme feelings of being unworthy and anger. They can explode with these episodes of anger. Petulant borderlines fear being disappointed by others but also can't seem to help wanting to rely on them.
A person with BPD or NPD may lie to distort reality into something that fits with the emotions that they are feeling, rather than the facts. These personality disorders can lead to significant challenges with interpersonal relationships.
Do Those Suffering from BPD's Regret Breaking Up? Although BPD personalities initiate a break-up as a way of seeking validation, because of the intense anxiety at play, they'll often express intense regret because of their abandonment wounding, especially if they're not met with the response they desire.
One of the experiences of interacting with individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (BP/NP) is that they sometimes do not seem truly sorry. Even though a BP/NP may say he or she is sorry, there may be something lacking.
Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.
Unsettling shame experiences are often triggered for people with borderline personalities, which cement negative beliefs and distort behavior. In response to shame, people with borderline personalities may hide emotional pain, blame others and lash out.
It's a technique often used by those with narcissistic and/or borderline personality disorders to deflect any responsibility from themselves. The victim of gaslighting often asks “what did I do?” and finds themselves eventually questioning and second guessing everything they do.
Though it's not a specific symptom of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), it's not uncommon for people with BPD to lie compulsively. If you are related to someone with BPD, you might be concerned by the tendency of your loved one to lie and wonder how to cope.
Yes, those living with BPD often experience heightened emotions and fears of abandonment, but that certainly doesn't make them unlovable, let alone monstrous. A relationship with someone who lives with BPD is just like any other; it depends on many of the same factors such as trust, understanding and communication.
People with BPD also have a tendency to think in extremes, a phenomenon called "dichotomous" or “black-or-white” thinking. 3 People with BPD often struggle to see the complexity in people and situations and are unable to recognize that things are often not either perfect or horrible, but are something in between.
Once upset, borderline people are often unable to think straight or calm themselves in a healthy way. They may say hurtful things or act out in dangerous or inappropriate ways.
Borderline personality disorder causes a broad range of reactions that can be considered self-destructive or self-sabotaging. It influences thoughts, emotions, behavior, and communication, adding a degree of volatility and unpredictability to daily living that can be unsettling for BPD sufferers and their loved ones.
For many folks with BPD, a “meltdown” will manifest as rage. For some, it might look like swinging from one intense emotion to another. For others, it might mean an instant drop into suicidal ideation. Whatever your experience is, you're not alone.
Borderline personality disorder usually begins by early adulthood. The condition seems to be worse in young adulthood and may gradually get better with age.
Relationships & Borderline Personality Disorder
“We also have intense and sudden mood changes, and we have severe difficulty regulating our emotions. Unintentionally, we tend to blame others when we make a mistake, which causes us to be manipulative and cruel to those we care about.”
National Disability Insurance Scheme
Some people with BPD may meet the criteria for the NDIS, in particular those who have co-existing mental and physical health diagnoses. It is possible for people to recover from BPD however, and to go onto the NDIS, it is required you have a permanent disability.
What others perceive as a simple mistake to be brushed off, people with BPD might perceive as a serious wrongdoing. You might hold onto a grudge for days, or until the person has apologized sufficiently.
Some of the key signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder are: A deep fear of being abandoned or unloved by those close to you. Difficulty in creating and maintaining a sense of self. You often feel empty, like there is nothing happening inside of you.
These results suggest that patients with BPD report becoming more accepting and forgiving over time.
The individual with BPD tends to blame themselves for the breakup and may experience an increase in depression, anxiety, anger and self-harming behaviors.