A relationship breakup, breakup, or break-up is the termination of a relationship. The act is commonly termed "dumping [someone]" in slang when it is initiated by one partner. The term is less likely to be applied to a married couple, where a breakup is typically called a separation or divorce.
Not every breakup is permanent but that doesn't mean every couple should or will get back together. Taking a break from a relationship can sometimes be the best way to build a stronger union in the future.
In the most fundamental sense, taking a break means that you and your partner haven't officially broken up, but you've decided to take some time off from each other and your relationship. It's also key to keep in mind that taking a break doesn't have to equal a breakup.
According to much research, about 40 to 50 percent of couples get back together after a breakup. While this is positive, many factors determine the chances of getting back together after a breakup. To begin with, most people get back together with their ex because they still harbor some feelings for them.
Although ending a relationship can be painful, a separation can give a couple space to work on personal issues that have been harming the relationship. 'It can help individuals reassess their priorities, helping them to know more about what they would like to get out of a relationship,' says Fredrickson.
Anything from one week to a month should be enough time for one or both parties to determine whether they should stay together. “You may decide halfway through the agreed upon time that you want to be with that person, but you should respect the time frame,” Edwards says.
Don't: Communicate During a Break
And in turn, it's natural to keep going back to this person. But you need this break to clear your mind and reflect. Having regular communication or even checking in with your partner will only muddy things up.
"A break could be any length of time, but past a point, it becomes a 'breakup,'" says Dr. Steinberg. "If you don't want it to be considered a 'breakup,' then the break shouldn't be more than a season, or three months long."
Exes may return in some cases. Since couples break up for various reasons, the circumstances of a breakup may impact the potential for reconnection. A recent study showed that 44% of Americans have gotten back together with one of their exes after breaking up with them.
Even ifyou were the one who initiated the split, there are five stages ofgrief that you will go through. They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, according to Mental-Health-Matters.
“There are three main ingredients that make a breakup healthy: deep reflection, good communication, and most of all, lots of self-love,” says Nicole. “In order for a breakup to be healthy, you've got to have space to process your emotions–both with the other person and even more importantly, with yourself.
While there's nothing wrong with wanting a life partner and even embracing the fact that you've found one as a success of sorts, it's important to also understand that breakups aren't failures. In fact, relationship therapists say the notion is not only self-defeating but plain old incorrect.
Breakups and the emotions they bring up are complicated. Relief, confusion, heartbreak, grief — all of these are perfectly normal reactions to the end of a relationship. Even if things end in healthy and productive way, you'll probably still be left with some uncomfortable feelings.
It is necessary that you should have no contact during a relationship break. This might allow both you and your mate the time to think about everything you need to ponder. Besides, it may make more sense when you are away from the situation than when you have to see and talk to your mate daily.
"If you and your partner are taking a break from the relationship, it should be exactly that — a break," she explains. Going no contact might sound vindictive or rude, but it's really the best way to embrace your time apart, which is the whole purpose of the break.
Research finds that 40-50 percent of people have reunited with an ex to start a new relationship. On-again relationships tend to suffer lower relationship quality and worse functioning than never-broken relationships. People often resume relationships with ex-partners because of lingering feelings.
For same-sex married couples, the break-up rate falls from roughly 8 percent for those who have been together for 5 years to under 1 percent for those who have been together for at least 20 years. For heterosexual married couples, the rate falls from a shade over 3 percent to less than 1 percent over the same period.
Coan advises every couple to adhere to the 70/30 rule: For the happiest, most harmonious relationship, the pro suggests spending 70% of time together, and 30% apart. That gives each of you enough freedom to explore your own interests while still being rooted and invested in your relationship.
Silence Is Key After a Breakup
Remember, silence is a key after you've just broken up. It helps re-establish your bond while allowing both you and your partner to think. So, instead of texting and making phone calls, be absolutely silent. Do not reach out to him, and if he tries to do so, simply ignore him.
Reconnect with those around you
Regardless of how you cope, it's important to take some time to reconnect with the people closest to you, including friends, family or roommates. Make a point to sit down for lunch or dinner with a close friend to talk through how you're really doing and feeling (and how they are, too).
Yes, it's absolutely possible to be friends with your ex. Whether it's a good idea will depend on the situation and the people involved.