Perhaps the most sensitive of all the personality types, INFJs take it hard when someone they trust lets them down. They tend to hold on to anger longer than they should and are capable of holding a grudge even when the other person has apologized, repeatedly, for their wrongdoing.
ISTJ. The ISTJ is undoubtedly capable of holding a grudge if someone has wronged them. Rule-followers who pride themselves on their reliability and consistency, ISTJs hate it when others fail to keep their word. And they're likely to resent them for it.
When INFJs get angry, they're likely to process their feelings through Introverted Thinking before expressing them out loud. For example, imagine that you're an INFJ and you're angry because someone slacked off on a commitment and now you're running late on a deadline for work.
Unhealthy INFJs tend to become paranoid about what other people are thinking of them. They can misinterpret body language or harmless comments into signs that others dislike them or hate them. They crave a lot of reassurance and validation from the ones they love.
INFJs are quite forgiving people but will find it hard if they must keep doing so. They are naturally considerate of the needs of others; INFJs will forgive people who are sincere, direct, and honest in their apologies. They appreciate the integrity and meaningful conversation to be able to forgive.
Once the relationship begins to feel one-sided, it takes a big toll on the sensitive INFJ, and they'll start to pull back. The process is a slow one, but once they've realized the relationship isn't adding anything positive to their life, they'll decide to distance themselves.
They might get angry and defensive, scared of ever letting another person in. It's okay to feel those things, but it's not healthy to stay there long-term. The heartbreak doesn't have to define the rest of your life and your other relationships (I'm currently working on convincing myself of this).
Sensitive people like INFJs absorb more information than others and are more aware of emotions, so they tend to experience information overload more quickly. They become stressed when they are subjected to too much information, including noise, crowds, bright lights and other people's feelings and moods.
Despite the fact that INFJs are complex individuals who are highly empathic and intuitive, they do commonly struggle with trust issues. These trust issues may be rooted in their private nature, their idealism, their empathy, or past experiences of hurt or betrayal.
Because of how INFJs deal with past pain, they're likely to have similar reactions to trauma. These include: Avoiding people, places, or things that remind them of the trauma. Experiencing fear and anxiety about the outside world.
Unsurprisingly, they can get stressed out by uncertainty and a lack of organization, and they're the most likely personality type to say they feel really anxious in unpredictable situations. This feeling is especially common among Turbulent Advocates, given their sensitivity to stress.
People with paranoid personality disorder see threats all around them. They tend to hold grudges, dwelling to the point of obsession over past slights they've experienced. These tendencies keep them from forming lasting and close relationships as hostility and general distrust consume their emotional lives.
ESFJ. People with this personality trait don't hold grudges for long and prefer letting the bitterness go. However, they might bury their emotions and have the feelings sneak up on them when they least expect.
INFJ Meaning
People with this personality type are serious, logical, and hardworking. They are also compassionate, conscientious, and reserved. They value close, deep connections and are sensitive to the needs of others, but also need time and space alone to recharge.
Love And The INFJ Personality Type
They can often come across as intimidating or aloof, and it may sometimes feel difficult to relate to an INFJ. Many people will never see the loving side of INFJs because many INFJs reserve true displays of intimacy and affection for close friends and long-term, loving relationships.
INFJs and INTJs value both introverted intuition and extraverted sensation, even though they are opposite in nature. But they feel more at home in the world of intuition and more vulnerable in the world of sensation.
INFJs are no exception to this rule, and when they become overly stressed they may display a dark side that includes angry outbursts, obsessive worrying, perfectionism, or even depression. When INFJs first encounter stress, they start to behave very true-to-type.
INFJs are enigmas to other types, and sometimes the way they think, speak, or function can look outwardly awkward. Most of these behaviors are easy to explain when they're analyzed. So if you or someone you know is an INFJ, remember not to dismiss these habits as awkward, but as evidence of how you tick.
ENFJ – Being Alone
The ENFJs I spoke with hated being alone; they felt that their lives were emptier and lacking meaning the longer they spent time in isolation. This makes sense considering their dominant function, Extraverted Feeling (Fe), is largely concerned with promoting the happiness and morale of others.
INFJs will spend a lot of time reflecting on the situation alone, and they'll decide whether it is worth addressing or forgetting. An INFJ will often choose to push the issue aside and leave it, releasing their anger through art, creative hobbies, or exercise.
Because of our passionate need for meaningful connection, we INFJs can get jealous easily when we see other people connecting and having fun. We might compare ourselves to them, or worse yet, when someone close to us has friends of their own, we might pull away, feeling unwanted and pathetic.
They Encourage You and Notice Your Positive Strengths
It's important for them to make someone they love feel appreciated, uplifted, and inspired to embrace what makes them unique. INFJs might do this in a one-on-one conversation, in writing, or even just through the “vibe” they give off.