It can be difficult to identify controlling behaviour when you're in a relationship. It's easy to justify controlling behaviour as a sign of caring or love for you. It's important to remember that controlling behaviour is not love, it is about power and manipulation.
When someone seeks to control you, it's not coming from a place of love but, in fact, quite the opposite: fear. Controlling behavior and manipulation are toxic and don't align with what open and honest communication is all about—which is necessary for a healthy relationship.
While care expresses love, control expresses ego. So continue caring for people you love but without controlling them because most often people are not wrong they are just different. Sharing is caring. Hence, share this post with someone you care.
Controlling people want to have control or assert power over another person. They can be intimidating, overbearing, and domineering in their efforts to get their way by manipulating others. Controlling behavior in someone else can make you feel angry or embarrassed or even create feelings of inferiority and despair.
Causes of Controlling Behavior
The most common are anxiety disorders and personality disorders. People with anxiety disorders feel a need to control everything around them in order to feel at peace. They may not trust anyone else to handle things the way they will.
Another common trait of narcissism is manipulative or controlling behavior. A narcissist will at first try to please you and impress you, but eventually, their own needs will always come first. When relating to other people, narcissists will try to keep people at a certain distance in order to maintain control.
Controlling behavior can be incredibly detrimental to a relationship. And it's not always easy to know you're being too controlling until it's already damaged your relationship. That being said, there probably were a number of signs that showed that you're being too controlling, even if you missed them.
overbearing. adjective. an overbearing person always tries to control other people's behaviour and ignores their opinions and feelings.
Sometimes people try to assert power over others and control situations. They may do this out of anxiety because they worry that things will go wrong if they do not maintain control. In other cases, it may be to assert dominance. In this case, it is a form of abuse.
The desire for control may be rooted in a fear of uncertainty. Sometimes, it can also be related to a mental health condition. Being in control of your life sounds like a positive thing, and in most cases, it can be. But for some people, the need to control everything can become all-consuming.
Some of the common reasons men control include: Traumatic past experiences. Insecurity and low self-esteem. Being controlled themselves currently or in the past.
The truth is that while many factors can spark sincere attraction, we still cannot force ourselves to desire someone. "It's quite common to fall in love with someone you've known, but not for it to be someone you've known and wanted to fall in love with," Aron says.
A controlling partner might undermine your confidence and make you feel insecure, putting you down in private and/or public. For example, they might criticise the way you dress or how you spend your time, exaggerate your 'flaws', or make fun of you in front of others but pass it off as 'just a joke'.
A controlling girlfriend may frequently make accusations and use her assumptions as grounds for isolation from your friends and family. This behavior is often seen in insecure women who feel inadequate, unloved, or very uncertain of themselves.
“While there are many times when only one partner is engaging in these behaviors, it's important to acknowledge that there's the possibility in many relationships where both partners are engaging in controlling behaviors in similar or different ways.”
Students with emotional control difficulties may: have a low tolerance for frustration or criticism; appear to overreact, or react more strongly than their peers; be prone to fight/flight/freeze responses such as outbursts, meltdowns, or shutting down.
Control issues could stem from high anxiety, obsessive-compulsive symptoms, or other mental health conditions. Some people with control issues will attempt to micromanage every aspect of a situation. Other people will want no say in the situation and demand that others make all of the decisions.
Controlling, or manipulative behaviour is one of the key traits of a personality disorder called psychopathy. Thomas Erikson: Psychopaths, they are drawn to control, they are drawn to power, they are drawn to attention as a part of their narcissistic behaviour.
Controlling consists of five steps: (1) set standards, (2) measure performance, (3) compare performance to standards, (4) determine the reasons for deviations and then (5) take corrective action as needed (see Figure 1, below).
In management, there are varying levels of control: strategic (highest level), operational (mid-level), and tactical (low level).