And while there's definitely some of this anger element in jealousy, it's my experience that when you really reflect on it, jealousy is more closely related to sadness and fear—that is, it tends to be a response to a perceived or threatened loss or inadequacy (more on this later).
Jealousy generally refers to the thoughts or feelings of insecurity, fear, and concern over a relative lack of possessions or safety. Jealousy can consist of one or more emotions such as anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness or disgust.
Jealousy is often motivated by insecurity or fear. Showing compassion to your loved one for these difficult feelings is paramount. Talk openly about what triggers their jealousy and what changes may help them feel less upset. Negotiate boundaries that feel acceptable to both parties.
Emotional Competency - Jealousy. You fear your lover will run off with another, you are resentful and you feel jealous. Because this is so hurtful and unfair, you also feel angry.
Why do we feel jealousy? Therapists often regard the demon as a scar of childhood trauma or a symptom of a psychological problem.
Past trauma
If you've experienced emotional abuse or betrayal from past relationships, that can start to taint your view of future relationships if the trauma goes unchecked. This is where jealousy can rear its head and feed into those feelings, by making you feel anxious or afraid of losing the person you're with now.
Feeling jealous is a signal that someone else might be putting a relationship you have and rely on at risk — and you may need to do something about it to either save that relationship or find what you're getting out of that relationship somewhere else. “Jealousy is hard-wired in all of us,” Jalal says.
There is not one root cause for someone's jealous behaviors or feelings, but there are a few reasons why someone might feel this way, including insecurity, past history, or fear of loss.
If you're the target of jealousy, you may feel like someone (usually a partner or friend) is trying to control your life. They might do things such as check up on you, try to tell you what to do (or not do) and how to act, or limit your contact with friends and coworkers.
Delusional jealousy is a psychotic disorder and should be treated mainly with antipsychotics, while obsessive jealousy resembles obsessive-compulsive disorder and should be treated with SSRIs and cognitive-behavioural therapy.
Jealousy is a normal human emotion that everyone experiences from time to time. It often stems from romantic relationships and can be feelings of unhappiness, anxiety, and anger caused by a belief or fear that your partner may be unfaithful or interested in someone else.
In the real world, making your ex jealous is a problematic behavior that shouldn't be idolized or mimicked. According to psychodynamic therapist Claire McRitchie, the behavior is actually a form of control and self-protection, whether or not the person exhibiting it knows this, and ultimately, it's not healthy.
In a traditional evolutionary psychology model, jealousy is an inherited response that once increased our chances of survival. Men, it has been argued, exhibit jealousy primarily in response to sexual threats to the relationship they are in.
Jealousy is essentially a need for control, a refusal to let go of the things we already have. We may jealously guard just about anything we perceive as ours, from material possessions to people we care about.
Proverbs 27:3-4 New Living Translation (NLT)
A stone is heavy and sand is weighty, but the resentment caused by a fool is even heavier. Anger is cruel, and wrath is like a flood, but jealousy is even more dangerous.
Extreme Jealously
When jealousy creeps into a romantic relationship, it can often fester into controlling tactics to assert dominance. “Do not ignore this red flag because it could also lead to an abusive and controlling situation,” says Kelman.
Jealous people are often non-confrontational. They may even come across as super-friendly; they fight their fight against you underhandedly. They will downplay your achievements, spread malicious gossip about you, or just talk crap regarding you behind your back.
“Jealousy is the highest form of flattery.”
Jealousy and envy are a toxic combination of anger, insecurity, fear, and greed. Jealousy is related to desiring what others have and envy centers around resentment of other people's blessings and prosperity.
Jealousy is a “complex of thoughts, feelings, and actions which follow threats to self-esteem and/or threats to the existence or quality of the relationship” (White, 1981, p. 129). According to Pfeiffer and Wong (1989), jealousy construct consists of three dimensions: emotional, cognitive, and behavioral.
It is a pattern of behavior that repeats. Another hallmark of abusive or unhealthy jealousy is an attempt to exert control over another person as well as making outlandish accusations. If you are regularly defending yourself against your partner's unreasonable or accusatory questions, that is a red flag.
Summary: Jealousy increases activity in the cingulate cortex and lateral septum, areas of the brain associated with social pain and pair bonding, researchers report.
Sometimes, pervasive jealous feelings might be an indicator of a deeper issue related to your mental health, including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Here are other mental health concerns that could be related to jealousy: Depression. Anxiety.