Research suggests it's bad practice to lie to children. Dr Justin Coulson, one of Australia's leading parenting experts, states – "If you want to do Santa that's fine, but let the kids know Santa was based on a historical figure who may or may not have done the things that we think he did."
While there are many benefits to protecting children's belief in Santa, it's not OK to lie to children about his existence. Discovering the truth about Santa is part of growing up and a sign that the child is developing critical thinking skills.
Although the Santa sham is meant to bring magic to kids' holidays, parents should not lie to their children about Santa because it improperly incentivizes good behavior while ensuring disappointment and broken trust upon discovery.
Lying to your child about Santa at three is very different from lying to your child about Santa at thirty. There is an onus for parents to support their children to come to their own natural conclusions about Santa within their own time. Adults should not lie to children about Santa.
To perpetuate the Santa myth, parents must lie to their kids. To buoy belief, adults often stage elaborate deceptions, laying traps for the child's developing intellect. The myth encourages lazy parenting and promotes unhealthy fear. The myth makes kids more acquisitive, not less so.
"It's not an overnight shift in thinking," says Laura Lamminen, Ph. D., a pediatric psychologist at Children's Health℠, "and there's no set age where children should know the truth about Santa Claus." Dr. Lamminen says each family and each child within that family will be ready to talk about Santa at different ages.
Ironically, critics of the Santa myth base their opinions on their "beliefs" about the situation as there is no empirical data or scientific evidence that anyone has ever been harmed by believing in Santa. Conversely, most people find the myth magical as a child and charming as an adult.
"There is no such thing as being too old to believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy," Kelman tells Yahoo Life. "Letting kids figure it out on their own is preferable to parents breaking the news to them.
While everyone is different, according to a recent poll by House Method, the average age kids in the United States stop believing in Santa Claus is 8.5 years. So, chances are good that somewhere around then is the right age for your child to learn the true story about Santa Claus.
In 2019, House Method surveyed more than 4,500 families across the United States, and found the overall average age for no longer believing in Santa Claus is 8.4 years old. (But it varies by state: Kids in Mississippi generally believe until they're 10, while kids in Oregon stop believing at 7.)
Santa is real in the sense that he was an actual person. Otherwise known as Saint Nicholas, his story goes all the way back to the 3rd century. He was a monk who was born in 280 A.D. in modern-day Turkey. As an only child, he was given great affection by his parents.
So, what are the benefits? Research on the benefit of believing in Santa Claus is sparse, but there is research indicating that there are benefits of having a vivid imagination. Believing in impossible beings like Santa Claus or flying reindeer might also exercise children's counterfactual reasoning skills.
Because the Elf on the Shelf “moves” each night, belief can sometimes be suspended into thinking that it is real. And for all intents and purposes, the Elf on the Shelf is real. It's a real doll, after all.
Research shows that kids who are lied to by their parents are more likely to lie themselves, so it is always a good idea to tell the truth if possible. Don't use Santa as a tool for motivating your kid. Letting them grow through fantasy and imagination is positive.
Research shows that the vast majority of American parents promote a false belief in Santa Claus, and most small children accept that story as real. In fact, research shows that most parents work very hard to perpetuate the myth of Santa.
Legend has it, la Befana enters homes via the chimney and leaves small gifts placed in stockings hung from the mantel. However, for those undeserving of treats and candy, she leaves a lump of coal conveniently taken out of the fireplace as a reminder to naughty children that they must change their ways.
“There is no evidence that belief, and eventual disbelief in Santa, affects parental trust in any significant way. Furthermore, not only do children have the tools to ferret out the truth; but engaging with the Santa story may give them a chance to exercise these abilities,” said Wooley.
But what happens if your elf falls or gets themselves into a sticky situation? Are grown-ups allowed to intervene? Santa advises that no family member touch their Elf on the Shelf, but he does describe a few rare instances when an adult may use tongs or potholders to help an elf in an urgent situation.
According to elf legend, the elf moves each night.
They have a favorite spot in your home. When your Scout Elf flies back from the North Pole and lands in the same spot, chances are it's their favorite place to sit in your home. Just like you have a favorite spot on the couch, your elf has favorite spots, too! The spot has a great vantage point.
It also provides opportunities for shared belief and play, reliving and sharing childhood memories, and encouraging empathy, kindness and generosity. Believing in Santa Claus can also benefit children's development as an avenue for creativity, imagination and play.
Totally fine, of course. You could probably even look at my reasons for not doing Santa and counter them with pretty logical arguments for why doing Santa is fun and not harmful to your kids, and I would not argue with your reasoning.
If you think your child has it all figured out, it's a good idea to be truthful. For instance, you could explain that Saint Nicholas was, in fact, a real person from long ago. He was known for leaving presents for the children in his village and for caring for the less fortunate.
If you are talking about the character that came from the legend of the Saint he is both a man and an elf depending on which legend you believe in.