They don't stop talking Since narcissists are constantly seeking approval and favor from their audience, Behary says their constant talking will sound more like a lecture than a conversation. "There's so much showing off and wanting to appear to be very smart, special, knowledgeable, and intuitive," she explains.
Narcissists tend to display exaggerated body language and facial expressions. The 1990 study on conversational narcissism also found that narcissists tend to be overly dramatic in their hand gestures and facial expressions. They may also speak in a loud tone of voice.
If you use the "support response" when talking to someone, the focus is kept on them. But conversational narcissism means people use the "shift response" as they try and claim that limelight for themselves. For example, if someone says they have a headache, a support response would be "I feel you. Is it a headache?
Narcissists use the volume and tone of their voice to subconsciously establish dominance. They do this through two extremes. One way is to increase the volume by yelling, screaming, and raging.
But, a Narcissist's charming personality usually belies an insidious tendency for verbal abuse. They shame and bully and belittle and threaten and criticize. And often, this verbal abuse can escalate in frequency and tone. They use verbal abuse to intimidate others, and prove themselves as dominant and superior.
Essentially, the point of the silent treatment is to make the victim feel confused, stressed, guilty, ashamed, not good enough, or unstable enough so that they would do what the manipulator wants.
Grandiose sense of self-importance
Grandiosity is the defining characteristic of narcissism. More than just arrogance or vanity, grandiosity is an unrealistic sense of superiority. Narcissists believe they are unique or “special” and can only be understood by other special people.
One of the weird things narcissists do involves destroying your happiness and relaxing moments. They will purposefully do things to prevent you from doing something as simple as sleep. Even if you had a long day or are sick, a narcissist may start a fight while you are trying to sleep.
Tongue biters may see something wrong, but won't speak up. They often don't want to put themselves in the line of fire or they are reaping some benefit through allowing the behavior to continue. Narcissist will only keep people around if they fall into one of the two categories.
Narcissists can sometimes be helpful and caring. However, more often than not, they only pretend to have these qualities. Moreover, even when they act giving and helping, they are not motivated by empathy because they severely lack it, and as a result, their help is often not very productive.
Narcissists tend to communicate differently than other people. Their words are often used as tools or weapons. Their language often disguises their true intent. This can make listening to narcissists more difficult and less straightforward than communicating with most other people.
Narcissists tend to do lots of talking and very little listening. The narcissist knows best, after all, so why bother listening to what others have to say? Ever spoken with someone who responded dismissively to everything you said? Narcissists brush aside or deprecate what others say instead of truly listening.
Narcissists can be grandiose when it comes to self-serving, unnecessary spending (i.e., buying a designer watch they can't afford), but skimp on the essentials (i.e., food, health expenses, basic household items).
Unfortunately for a narcissist, she says, the next person will always end up being boring because time breeds familiarity, requiring the narcissist to look for something new. "They are always waiting for the next new thing," she adds. "You are not boring, narcissists are just bored with everything."
Common narcissistic traits include having a strong sense of self-importance, experiencing fantasies about fame or glory, exaggerating self abilities, craving admiration, exploiting others, and lacking empathy.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
According to Soeiro, a “prosocial” narcissist finds validation in good deeds and making people happy, driven by their overriding desire to be liked. They are typically fun to be around, and take a lot of satisfaction in your positive reaction to them.
The best way to shut down a narcissist is to walk away from them. If all else fails, you can physically remove yourself from the conversation. Even if they keep talking, simply turn around and walk away. If they follow you, close the door.
The most effective weapon to fend off narcissists is self-love. When you love yourself, it is more difficult for the narcissist to manipulate you and get under your skin. It will hurt them to know that you do not need them, that you are better off without them, and that you love yourself exactly as you are.
Often, a narcissist will retaliate by ignoring you. This is a means to punish you for puncturing their delusions. They're also avoiding you because a narcissist's sense of self is too unstable to resolve conflict. They are putting you in a position to make you desperate for their approval.