Psychologists also have conflicting ideas about how only children operate in relationships. “They often have problems when it comes to delayed gratification, overly seeking attention, difficulty separating from parental influence, immaturity, independence, giving and receiving, [and] sharing,” John Mayer, Ph. D.
Certain traits associated with only child syndrome may present in marriages in different ways, depending on the individual and the relationship dynamics. For example, an only child may have difficulty compromising with their partner or may struggle to communicate effectively when their needs are not being met.
This gets tricky as only children likewise like their personal space. This is why you will often find only children harder to get close to, to convince to open up. This is also the reason why them getting their personal space will often turn into them satisfying their need for attention from a different source.
The only child syndrome theory suggests that a child without siblings may be more likely to lack social skills and be spoiled, lonely, or selfish.
As Dr Murray M. Kappelman, author of Raising the Only Child, only children tend to put great stock in friendships and create something kind of like sibling attachment with their friends so they can enjoy the same closeness.
Since they don't have siblings to interact with, only children are believed to be lonely and poorly socialized. They are also believed to be incapable of compromising or working well with others, since they haven't had to share their toys, space, identity, and parents' attention with others.
Time with other children is one important factor in whether only children feel lonely or not. In fact, many only children report, as adults, that their lives were far from lonely. And a lot of that has to do with the opportunities they had for connection and socialization.
About half reported that being an “only” made it hard to make friends because they had no practice with siblings – they became loners with a lack of good relationships. The other half reported that having no siblings obliged them to become socially skilled, and that they were great at forming relationships.
Not surprisingly, only children and last borns are also a good match. An only child is sensible and conscientious, so can take charge in the relationship. The last born brings creativity and adventure into the relationship, so they balance each other out. First borns also do well with middle children.
If you're an only child, your best romantic match is an older brother of sisters, according to this website.
According to Campbell, the best match for an only child is probably an oldest child since “they both value being responsible and reliable.” Relationships with a youngest born may be a little more rocky, she said.
Research has showed that, while having one child is associated with a gain in happiness, having a second is associated with a drop in happiness for mothers.
Dr Newman says the often-greater access only children have to parent/s, resources and one-on-one conversation "can expand vocabulary growing up and give the child an educational edge". "Being an only child [also] enhances creativity and feeds independence and the ability to entertain him/herself.
The idea is that these kids do not have to compete with siblings for their parent's affection. This warmth creates more emotional stability for the child. A separate study supports this idea: only children report more positive relationships with their parents.
Like most things in life whether you are a child or an adult, many of us want what we don't or can't have. Some children with siblings say they want to get rid of their annoying sibling. Only children are the most likely to want a brother or sister, yet some singletons never ask.
There's no reason for guilt, Newman says. She's reviewed dozens of single-child family studies and finds that only children aren't any worse off than their peers with siblings. "The studies all show that only children are not spoiled.
In some countries, such as China and South Korea, more than 40% of all families have one child. Similarly, in many other countries including the United States, Canada and Australia over 30% of households consist of a single parent with one child.
Only children tend to fall more into the "firstborn" camp of Adler's theory: Firstborns: Firstborns are thought of as responsible, reliable, cautious, achievement-oriented leaders and problem solvers.
In combination, the findings of the two studies indicate that, although people believe that only children are more narcissistic than people with siblings, this believe is false.
Depression and anxiety
No single difference was found between the only-children and the children with siblings in these two studies. However, a very large study (n=16 823) found higher values for depression in children having siblings than in only-children [32].
Golden child syndrome, or being a “golden child,” is a term typically used by family, and most often by parents, to refer to a child in the family that's regarded as exceptional in some way. The golden child is expected to be extraordinary at everything, not make mistakes, and essentially be “perfect.”