This guide to texting addresses the basics—write clearly; be yourself; be direct; double-check your text; follow up if you don't hear back; be careful with spell check and dictating; write out words, not emojis; and respond promptly.
“Dry texters may suffer from social anxiety and have a difficult time communicating their thoughts and feelings via written word,” says psychotherapist Anita Astley, LMFT, author of the forthcoming book Unf*ck Your Life and Relationships.
A text exchange with no emotion could be a red flag, she notes. If the texts are flat, with no smiling in the language and little energy, this might be an indication the date is emotionally aloof. Some people manage the anxiety of attachment by trying to control their environment, Winsberg points out.
“It could be busyness (feeling overwhelmed with messages) or underlying anxieties that lead someone to be a bad replier,” she explains. “Sometimes it can also be about control – when we feel anxious and overwhelmed, we might try to take control of the situation i.e. 'It's up to me when I get back to someone'.
When someone says they're “bad at texting,” this is a huge red flag and you should pay attention to how they handle it. Do they make up for it in other ways? “Bad at texting” can sometimes mean they just don't care to talk to you via text — but in other cases, maybe they don't even care to talk to you at all.
Don't text anything confidential, private, or potentially embarrassing. Don't be upset if your text doesn't get an immediate response—you can't know for sure when the recipient will read the message. Think of texting as a conversation: If you would respond in the conversation, then respond in the text.
One of the main reasons some introverts don't like texting is because they don't like small talk — and that includes small talk through texting. When I'm talking to someone about a deep topic or something I'm passionate about, then texting doesn't feel like a burden.
Caption Options. Close Settings. As a phrase, “dry texting” is relatively recent in the grand scheme of things. It refers to people who reply with one word, or don't carry the conversation and just say things like “lmao” and “wyd” until the receiver wants to tear their hair out in frustration or boredom.
Texting anxiety refers to the fear of sending or receiving text messages. A person may experience this for a number of reasons, and it may stem from social anxiety, bullying, or lack of face-to-face contact.
Lazy texter. Here's someone who barely texts at all, not because he doesn't like you, but because he is too lazy to do so.
The ellipsis, a row of three dots, stands for an omitted section of text. But much can be conveyed by omission. It asks the receiver of the message to fill in the text, and in that way is very coy and potentially flirty.
Your guy might prefer to text a bit less, or he might not like texting at all. It's worth checking in with his comfort levels and preferences. Some guys send dry texts because they aren't fans of texting, so keep in mind a dry text doesn't immediately mean that your guy doesn't like you.
If you receive a dry text from someone, there are a few ways to respond and keep the conversation going. You can try to ask open-ended questions to encourage them to share more information, add some humor or personal anecdotes to make the conversation more engaging, or use emojis or GIFs to convey emotions and tone.
If that felt like a personal call-out, you're not alone. It's a common ADHD experience that I call 'involuntary ghosting' - a phenomenon that describes the disappearing act that happens when ADHDers forget to respond to texts.
The need to always be available, the obligation to be responsive and the fear of being called out is what is leading to text anxiety. This in turn makes people avoid chats, indulge in delayed responses, but again the fear of being called out is also what is leading to anxiety.
Frustration and confusion are the hallmarks of texting. The tone, intonation, texture and subtle nuances that give words meaning and bring conversation to life are lost. You're left with incoherent fractures of something that you can't be bothered to put together.
"Write Everything Twice" is yet another common definition for WET. WET. Definition: Write Everything Twice.
“A green flag is when a potential partner is considerate and aware of your boundaries, asks for clarification on them when they are unclear, and does not push them,” she says. Let's say you ask to meet at a bar or the park on the first date and have expressed that you're more comfortable meeting in public places.
They don't have any friends.
Jessica Harrison, a licensed professional counselor and owner of Courageous Counseling and Consulting, says a lack of long-term friendships is a major red flag.