Nora Ephron's 3 Rules for Middle-Age Happiness
Gather friends and feed them, laugh in the face of calamity, and cut out all the things––people, jobs, body parts––that no longer serve you.
Carl Jung (1875–1961), in his extensive writings, identified five stages associated with an innate, normal, and expected midlife transition: accommodation, separation, liminality, reintegration, and individuation.
"When crisis point is reached they go through a profound psychological breakdown, often accompanied by symptoms of stress, anxiety and depression." Yuko Nippoda, psychotherapist and spokesperson for the UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP), adds that lack of energy and stamina can trigger a midlife crisis.
In general, midlife crisis is a temporary phase in a person's life. Not everyone goes through this phase. This phase doesn't represent the whole picture of a person's work and accomplishments. For men, this stage can last around 3–10 years, and for women, 2–5 years.
A midlife crisis might occur anywhere from about age 37 through the 50s, he says. By whatever term, the crisis or transition tends to occur around significant life events, he says, such as your youngest child finishing college, or a "zero" birthday announcing to the world that you're entering a new decade.
Men and women can both experience a midlife crisis, but it may look different for each. On average, most people experience one between the ages of 40 and 60 years old, but you may have it before or after those ages, as well.
Midlife crisis and depression have some common symptoms, including difficulty concentrating, insomnia, irritability, and reckless behavior. If the symptoms are persistent and show up every day, it's more likely to be depression.
Is a midlife crisis a mental illness? No, a mid-life crisis is not considered to be a mental illness. This means that it does not appear in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). The closest diagnosis for this type of distress would be an Adjustment Disorder.
The golden rule of happiness is that “the more you make others happy: the happier you will be”. Try to make at least 3 people smile every day. Make sure you have a hearty laugh, and smile more. Keep your surroundings clutter free.
The most unhappy time of your life is your forties, according to a phenomenon known as the “u-shaped” curve which states that happiness bottoms out around your forties then trends back up as you grow older.
This crisis can affect self-concept and self-confidence, leading to changes in moods, behaviors, emotions, and relationships as people cope with the transition to midlife.
The brain at midlife also appears capable of rewiring itself and generating new neurons in response to physical activity and new experiences. Scientists also believe the process of myelination helps the middle-aged brain strengthen its cognitive abilities.
Yes, sometimes people who leave in the throes of a midlife crisis do come back. Sometimes, their partner no longer wants them. But rather than concentrate your energy on your husband's behavior and choices, I hope you will take a long look at your own life. Deal with your grief and the profound loss and change.
The Temptation to Withdrawal
In Midlife Crisis, this is the stage when a person begins to separate from family and friends—cutting off a true source of demonstrated love, reassurance, and appreciation. Instead, they become solitary and isolated, refusing (or not even recognizing) the help they most need.
Signs of midlife crises can vary (like stressors and the crisis itself), but some indicators include feeling depressed or anxious, having low motivation, having difficulty sleeping, struggling with questions of identity or purpose, and feeling overwhelmed or dissatisfied.
For most adults, midlife, or middle age, is a period of personal growth, stability, insight, responsibility, maturity and acceptance. For a small percentage of people, it can be a time of confusion, apprehension, regret, and midlife crisis depression resulting in selfish, reckless, and hedonistic behavior.
A midlife crisis can be broken into three stages: the trigger, the crisis and the resolution. The trigger is the event that causes stress, such as job loss.