Insecurity is a feeling of inadequacy (not being good enough) and uncertainty. It produces anxiety about your goals, relationships, and ability to handle certain situations. Everybody deals with insecurity from time to time. It can appear in all areas of life and come from a variety of causes.
Insecurities are brought on when we recognize differences between ourselves and others, either on our own or through someone else pointing it out. For example, a child who is teased on the playground at school for being in a larger body than their peers may come to feel insecure about their weight and body.
Insecure people often use criticism of others as a way to feel better about themselves. See, people who are insecure consistently feel bad about themselves. And often, they don't know how to feel better in a healthy or productive way. So they often resort to criticizing others.
The fear of being socially judged is one of the most common forms of insecurity. Some people feel self-conscious, anxious, and fearful when in front of others. It doesn't matter whether it's a group of colleagues or family members.
This goes hand in hand with the previous point. As mentioned before, subtly insecure people tend to seek validation and approval. And this leads them to talk a lot about themselves — without even realizing it. These are the people who focus almost any conversation on themselves.
Signs of Insecurity in Relationships
Feeling jealous of all the other people in their life and resenting the other people they are close to. Not taking your partner at their word and wanting to verify everything they tell you. Feeling like your partner may break up with you at any time.
Insecure People Tell Lies
Insecure people lie because they measure their worth and success on the admiration, approval and validation of others. They crave the voice of others telling them how amazing and desirable they are. The feeling of not meeting their own or other's expectations causes people to be dishonest.
Key points. Red flags in a relationship are intuitive indicators that something needs to be questioned. Relationship red flags include feelings of insecurity and negative feedback from one's friends and family. Any kind of abuse is the biggest red flag in a relationship.
The kind of childhood you had, past traumas, recent experiences of failure or rejection, loneliness, social anxiety, negative beliefs about yourself, perfectionism, or having a critical parent or partner can all contribute to insecurity.
Some people think of a “toxic relationship” as one that involves abuse, but it can be more subtle and less obvious. The underlying basis of any toxic relationship involves insecurity. Two common insecure relationship positions include what is referred as “Controllers” and “Dependents.”
Jealousy can be a sign of insecurity. Jealousy is a fear of losing something you already have, like a relationship or friendship. People who deal with jealousy may often feel threatened by other people. You may also feel that you are in competition with others, even if you're not.
The good news is that developing insecurities when you're young doesn't mean they'll stay with you forever. In fact, the survey found that over 50.1% of women and over 59.3% of men surveyed now feel that they've fully come to love and accept themselves.
Toxic people are often insecure people. They tend to make themselves feel or seem better than others by talking badly about them rather than taking concrete actions to develop their skills. Toxic people feel entitled to judge others, their actions, decisions, and lifestyles.
One potential reason insecure people lash out at others is they are feeling shame and projecting it onto others. The insecure person may feel psychologically incompetent or threatened when exhibiting negative behaviors toward others.
When one deals with generalized insecurity for a long period of time, however, the doubt and negative feelings experienced may have a significant effect on life. Insecurity is linked to mental health conditions such as narcissism, anxiety, paranoia, and addictive or dependent personalities.
Insecurity may stem from a traumatic event, crisis such as divorce or bankruptcy, or a loss. It can also result from one's environment, as unpredictability or upset in daily life can cause anxiety and insecurity about ordinary, routine events.
Girls are more sentimental and sensitive so they have a propensity to over think and gradually develop feeling of insecurity. It is common and in many cases things get sorted easily but in few other the love and trust is completely overshadowed by the dark clouds of insecurity.