Infidelity has become so common that some studies indicate that 20% to 40% of heterosexual married men and 20% to 25% of heterosexual married women will engage in an extramarital affair at some point in their lives.
When you put the data together, about 15-20% of married couples cheat. The rate of cheating increases with age for both married men and married women. In a study titled America's Generation Gap in Extramarital Affairs, 20% of older couples noted that they had cheated during their marriage.
In fact, when it comes to purely sexual infidelity, the average occurrence across studies is around 20% of all couples. However, this rate increases to around a third of couples when you include emotional infidelity. An affair is generally a sign things aren't right with someone's relationship.
Research from the past two decades shows that between 20 and 25 percent of married men cheat and between 10 and 15 percent of married women cheat, according to professor Nicholas Wolfinger. Read more here.
Among married couples, national surveys show that 15% of women and 25% of married men have cheated on their spouses. A cheating spouse does not necessarily mean the end of one's marriage.
There are many potential reasons why a person may cheat. There are eight key reasons and motivations for affairs, including low self-esteem, anger, low commitment, lack of love, neglect, sexual desire, need for variety, and circumstances.
Infidelity does not mean that the love is gone or never existed. The reality is that you can love someone and still cheat on them. In fact, many affairs happen in relationships that are otherwise very happy.
Women in their 60s report the highest rate of infidelity (16%), but the share goes down sharply among women in their 70s and 80s. By comparison, the infidelity rate among men in their 70s is the highest (26%), and it remains high among men ages 80 and older (24%).
The workplace. The workplace is where most affairs begin. It doesn't hurt that we usually dress nicely and are on “good behavior” at work. Plus, having shared passions about projects (or mutual annoyance at a boss or co-worker) provides the perfect breeding ground for an affair.
A man can cheat and still love his wife.
The roller coaster of emotions that follows the discovery of his infidelity can be excruciating for both of you. It is entirely normal to experience intense emotional pain in response to infidelity. You may feel like running away or want to know everything about the other woman.
Research in the field of infidelity reveals that there are three distinct personality types correlated with a higher likelihood of cheating: sociopaths, narcissists, and lonely hearts.
Why do people cheat? A wide variety of factors can bring out some type of affair. A study of 495 people revealed eight key reasons: anger, low self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and circumstance.
Affairs: Why They Happen. There is seldom just one reason for an affair. The state of your relationship, the stresses and pressures of your life (finances, kids, job loss, depression, etc.), and your personal belief systems can all influence your vulnerability to an affair.
Your Marriage Can Survive Infidelity
Affairs are messy on many levels. From the emotions that drive people to commit them, to the chaos created by the discovery. Yet, most affairs usually end one of two ways: with divorce or a stronger current relationship.
Some even last for a lifetime. The period in which a couple feels “in love” during an affair normally lasts six-18 months, but sometimes spans as long as three years. All types of affairs can be very personal for everyone involved. They usually bring with them many kinds of emotions — both the good and the bad.
Infidelity is associated with several personality traits: loneliness, extroversion, anxiety, depression, moodiness, narcissism, openness to new experiences, frequent use of alcohol, a history of child sexual abuse, and knowledge that one or both of one's parents had been unfaithful.
Research suggests that most affairs start in places like the gym, social media, the workplace, and the church (surprising, right?). People also tend to find affair partners at a social gathering or an existing social circle where they are already familiar with the people present.
Infidelity can have lasting impacts on partners and children the couple may have. Grief, brain changes, behaviors down the road, and mental health conditions such as anxiety, chronic stress, and depression can result. Some families have been able to move past infidelity with time and therapy.
03/8The shocking finding. Shockingly, seven out of ten participants confessed that having an extramarital affair made them feel more satisfied in their marriage.
For men, the peak age for cheating is 55 years old.
After those ages the likelihood of infidelity tends to decline.
Unfortunately, there are several long-term effects of infidelity that can affect a person long after the cheating has stopped. These can be life-changing, and lead to the development of certain mental health conditions including chronic depression, anxiety, post-infidelity stress disorder, and betrayal trauma.
In this new study, 45 percent of individuals who reported cheating on their partner in the first relationship reported also doing so in the second. Among those who had not cheated in the first, far fewer (18 percent) cheated in the second.
People who cheat are likely impulsive and destructive at decision making. Instead of thinking about you and what happens to the relationship after cheating, they go based on what they want right now. Impulsiveness can be seen in other areas of the relationship, too. So keep an eye out.
Although many people believe in the adage, “Once a cheater, always a cheater,” it is not necessarily true. Not every person who cheats once will cheat again. However, serial cheaters are people who seek out sexual partners on a continual, chronic pattern of infidelity.
Anger and aggression are two other common initial reactions to accusations of cheating. Cheaters often use anger as a form of deflection to turn the situation around and make accusations against you instead, like that you don't trust them enough.