In recent years, though, non-monogamy has become increasingly mainstream. About one in four adults is interested in having an open relationship, according to 2021 YouGov poll of 23,000 Americans.
Research tells us that about 4 to 5 percent of heterosexual couples have agreed to have an open relationship. In other words, they've given their consent to not be monogamous. That may seem like a relatively small and, given the stigma surrounding open relationships, unsurprising number.
Recent research that used a novel framework to explore types of monogamy and nonmonogamy suggests that open, consensual nonmonogamous relationships can be healthy and satisfying.
There aren't a lot of stats available for polyamory in Australia, but 2014 research appearing in CSIRO Publishing found 1 per cent of 5,323 respondents were in an "open relationship".
Relationship expert and psychotherapist Neil Wilkie told Red Magazine: “it is said that less than 1% of couples are in open marriages. Twenty percent of couples have experimented with consensual non-monogamy [but] open marriage has a 92% failure rate.
You absolutely can cheat in open relationships. 'Open relationships, just like monogamous relationships, have boundaries, guidelines which are mutually agreed-upon by the partners or parties involved,' says Moushumi Ghose, MFT, a licensed sex therapist. 'Cheating is essentially the breaking of such agreements.
The findings, published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, indicate that engaging in consensual non-monogamy is associated with some increases in sexual satisfaction — but does not have much of an impact on other aspects of one's relationship.
Irreconcilable differences can range from a myriad of issues, but according to a recent study, 92 percent of open marriages fail. Though tracking, recording and analyzing open marriages can be challenging as the arrangements between the couple may be convoluted.
And yet, studies of couples actually engaged in CNM relationships find that these people report being just as happy in their marriages as strictly monogamous couples are—and they're more satisfied sexually.
“The prevalence right now of young people is somewhere around 4-5 per cent of people might be involved in a polyamorous relationship, and about 20 per cent have probably tried one.”
Open relationships allow partners to put all their cards on the table. Open relationships also allow non-monogamous people to express their needs and identity without fear. They don't need to hide their crushes or extra-marital relationships, at least to their partner, and this leads to a lot less emotional distress.
Reasons you might consider an open relationship: You and your partner both have a lot of love to give and believe you can love more than one person at once. You want to explore your sexuality or sexual relationships with someone of a different gender. You and your partner have a case of mismatched libidos.
Perhaps they've failed at monogamy in the past and would rather be upfront and open about their endeavors rather than having to sneak around. Or perhaps they feel as though their needs aren't currently being met and want to look outside your relationship to fulfill these desires.
Dr. Chavez explained swinging can strengthen certain relationships because for some, “monogamy puts too much pressure on one partner to meet all of their needs.” In those cases, “opening up becomes a way to meet other needs, while still committing to a primary relationship with your partner.”
Open relationships are simply toxic. They're corrosive to our mental, physical, and spiritual health — and they're especially bad for women who want to have families one day. We can find better ways to forge meaningful communities and avoid taking this toxic route in our romantic relationships.
Why open relationships fail. Ultimately, open relationships often fail due to a lack of honesty. The issue isn't so much the honesty between the two people in the relationship. If they have started to talk about having an open relationship, they are probably honest with each other.
Risk of Jealousy and Insecurity
It would be to no one's surprise that there is going to be a chance of insecurity and jealousy getting in the way of a happy open relationship. Instead of seeing this as you or your partner's shortcomings, try to understand that jealousy is an opportunity for another conversation.
While being in an open relationship can be rewarding, it takes a lot of work. Some research indicates that open relationships have only an 8 percent success rate.
Humans have feelings, needs and wants. People in open relationships do experience jealousy, and it's completely valid — but how do you work through these feelings?
Opening up a relationship in a desperate attempt to stave off a breakup isn't a great idea. Without the strong, healthy bond that's necessary for an open relationship to work, introducing non-monogamy might just push you over the breakup precipice.
Some examples include: Multi-partner relationships, between three or more partners where a sexual relationship does not occur between all of the parties involved.
As with monogamous relationships, polyamorous relationships can be healthy or unhealthy — happy or unhappy — depending on the behaviors and actions of the people who engage in them. Many people in polyamorous relationships are satisfied and happy.