Affairs usually begin with an attraction to someone you know fairly well, someone you spend time with each week — your friends and co-workers.
Loved-up couples be warned: September has been named the month when affairs are most likely to begin. Overtaking January as the biggest month for infidelity, new research has found those looking to stray are more likely to start an affair in September than any other time of the year.
Women in their 60s report the highest rate of infidelity (16%), but the share goes down sharply among women in their 70s and 80s. By comparison, the infidelity rate among men in their 70s is the highest (26%), and it remains high among men ages 80 and older (24%).
Inappropriate Sharing. Emotional affairs may begin with conversations about work and other topics but they often shift into more intimate details about your life, relationships, personal issues, and sex life.
The one thing all cheaters have in common is a lack of impulse control. Unfortunately, they also tend to be opportunistic and have an inflated sense of their own importance. Not only do serial cheaters adopt similar behavioral habits, but they also share a number of personality traits.
Infidelity often starts out simply in workplace relationships, platonic friendships, or community acquaintances. Generally, they happen without premeditation. It is when people start to cross boundaries of emotional intimacy, sharing information which should only be discussed with their spouse, that trouble begins.
Cheaters are impulsive, and can't resist taking that risk despite what it might cost them. Cheaters, like bullies, are fueled by power, and drawn to risk. This kind of behavior, however, is a reflection of something deeply rooted inside of them.
It is a sad reality that adultery is alive and well in our churches. The Rest: Bars, Spouse's friends, Las Vegas, Business trips, the Gym, Neighbors, Grocery stores, etc. People who cheat can meet just about anywhere.
According to a leading relationship expert, Dr. John Gottman, affairs don't just happen overnight. The act of emotionally or physically going outside of the relationship is the result of small, almost imperceptible events over a long period.
Also known as emotional-cheating, micro cheating falls under the umbrella of emotional infidelity and refers to small, seemingly insignificant things that a person can do that, while not explicitly unfaithful, can carry with them the hint of infidelity.
There are consistent associations between infidelity and each of the Big 5 traits. For example, people who cheat in romantic relationships score higher on Neuroticism, Openness to Experience, and Extraversion. They score lower on Agreeableness and Conscientiousness.
An analysis revealed eight key reasons: anger, self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and situation or circumstance.
Another common sign is when he starts taking calls and walking out of the room, often telling you it's work, and then gets defensive when you get near his phone. Dr Spelman says, "Having a second mobile phone that has nothing to do with work or their regular phone can be a sign of cheating.
However, one of the signs an affair is turning into love is when you contact them more often than usual. You are missing the person with whom you are having an affair and you want to know how they are doing. At this point, you are already emotionally attached to them, and you can't do without communicating with them.
When you sleep with the person you love every night, your body releases dopamine, which makes you feel pleasure (when released in large quantities), and serotonin, which is known as the "happy chemical." So, sharing a bed literally makes you a happier person.
How long extramarital affairs last varies: about 50% may last between the period of one month to a year affair, long term affairs may last long-term, for about 15 months or more, and about 30% of affairs last about two years and beyond.
In some situations, a spouse may engage in an emotional affair as a way of getting back at their partner or dealing with unaddressed anger or issues. It's a form of acting out, but in a way that might seem less serious than cheating physically.
Yet, most affairs usually end one of two ways: with divorce or a stronger current relationship. How the end plays out is up to you, how you choose to react, and how hard you want to work to stay together. Learning how to overcome grief and pain is going to be difficult, but Couples Academy can help.