Aspies tend to express love through practical actions, whereas NTs are more likely to express love through words or symbolic actions. What do I mean by practical versus symbolic actions? In The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome, Dr.
Verbally expressing love
You may find your partner with Asperger's doesn't say “I love you,” or express their emotions, as often as you need them to. Mendes says this may be because, to your partner, the love between you two has already been established. They might see no need to vocalize emotions any further.
Despite the problems in relationship skills experienced by many people with Asperger's syndrome, some adults can progress along the relationship continuum and are able to experience romantic and subsequently intimate personal relationships, even becoming a lifelong partner.
Some may find it challenging to express love verbally or through typical social cues, but they can still demonstrate affection and care through their actions, interests, and consistent support. That said, autism is a spectrum, and each individual's experience and expression of love may vary.
I wouldn't say "falling out of love overnight" is common for these men, but it does happen. As a counselor who has worked with many couples affected by Asperger's and high-functioning autism, what I see most often has to do with the fact that most men on the high functioning end of autism are very "task-oriented."
Research has suggested that although Aspergers children are attached to their parents, their expression of this attachment is unusual and difficult to interpret. Moms and dads who looked forward to the joys of cuddling, teaching, and playing with their child may feel disappointed by this lack of expected attachment ...
Love and affection may be felt but expressed differently
They may show love, for example, through a practical act, and tidy up for you, or iron your shirt, rather than through a more neurotypical way of looking at you and telling you or using physical affection.
People with autism often experience love differently from neurotypical people. Their expression of love is less straightforward, as they tend to rely heavily on non-verbal communication.
Many people with autism crave intimacy and love. But, they don't know how to achieve it in a romantic relationship. They can feel blind to everyday subtle social cues from their partner. This can cause conflict and hurt feelings.
In marriage, the Aspie often displays great devotion to his partner and is reliable, honest and faithful. 15. In the privacy of their relationship, the NT partner may become physically and emotionally drained, working overtime to keep life on track for both of them.
People with autism may show their love by: sharing their special interest. allowing someone into their space. using alternative forms of communication.
People with Asperger profiles may not show their feelings in the same way, or to the same extent, as those without. They may manifest feelings less outwardly, or their facial expression might not match what the individual is feeling inside.
People with ASD typically crave routine and respond negatively to change. They may engage in repetitive behaviors as part of their routine. People with ASD may also behave differently in response to sensory stimuli. They may display under sensitivity or over sensitivity to sensations such as light, sound, or touch.
Research has found that autistic people are equally interested in romantic relationships as neurotypical people. They just tend to have a slightly harder time knowing how to navigate dating and interpreting social cues, particularly at the start of the relationship.
Key points. Widespread stereotypes suggest that people with autism are incapable of feeling romantic love. In reality, people with autism can experience romantic love and often attach considerable value to their close relationships.
Some autistic people might like more 'obvious' forms of flirting like grand gestures, crafting things for someone or writing letters.
People with autism may get easily attached to people, leading them to become over-friendly. It can be difficult to understand other people's perceptions of situations, therefore what they feel is appropriate, may be considered as socially unacceptable.
Some kids on the spectrum feel a constant need for affection because they are not sure when or if the attention will be available. Schedule 5 to 10 minutes every day when you can provide your youngster with undivided attention (i.e., no computer, T.V., cell phones, etc.).
The physical touch love language
For example, random gentle touches on the arm can feel shocking or surprise hugs from behind might be way too stimulating. On the other hand, it might be deeply soothing when your partner gives you a tight hug or firm massage when you're in the right mood.
There can be an extreme sensitivity to a particular intensity of touch or touching particular parts of the body. For some people with Asperger's Syndrome, the forms of touch used in social greetings or gestures of affection were perceived as too intense or overwhelming.
I agree that living with an Asperger's person is not easy, but the marriage can be manageable and happy if the two talk about the challenges and work through them. It is only natural for a person with any difficulty to choose someone who complements them to be their partner.
The aspie detects an approaching change in the relationship; perhaps you're talking about moving in, having children or maybe you're simply becoming assertive about routines; tea times, household chores or furniture placement. Whatever the reason, the aspie change resistance kicks in.