Borderline patients may become distraught at ordinary criticism, which they experience as a blow to self-esteem; may react with rage to a disappointment or minor slight; or may feel terror at a separation that they experience as virtual abandonment.
BPD makes a person highly sensitive to criticism or any other type of perceived rejection. Those with this disorder tend to see most aspects of life in black or white.
People with BPD may feel a great deal of anger and may make heavy insults in a fit of rage to loved ones. Although it is unfair to listen and get hurt, arguing suggests that you believe the other person's anger is uncalled-for and this will lead to greater rage.
People with BPD are often on edge. They have high distress and anger levels, so they may be easily offended. They struggle with beliefs and thoughts about themselves and others, which can cause distress in many areas of their lives. People living with BPD often have an intense fear of instability and abandonment.
Coping skills for BPD are often centered around learning to manage moments of emotional instability and/or control anger. Some techniques to help in these situations could include: Using stress-reduction techniques, like deep breathing or meditation. Engaging in light exercise, like walking or yoga.
People with BPD also have a tendency to think in extremes, a phenomenon called "dichotomous" or “black-or-white” thinking. 3 People with BPD often struggle to see the complexity in people and situations and are unable to recognize that things are often not either perfect or horrible, but are something in between.
Once upset, borderline people are often unable to think straight or calm themselves in a healthy way. They may say hurtful things or act out in dangerous or inappropriate ways.
What others perceive as a simple mistake to be brushed off, people with BPD might perceive as a serious wrongdoing. You might hold onto a grudge for days, or until the person has apologized sufficiently.
For many folks with BPD, a “meltdown” will manifest as rage. For some, it might look like swinging from one intense emotion to another. For others, it might mean an instant drop into suicidal ideation. Whatever your experience is, you're not alone.
Intense episodic irritability or anxiety lasting a few hours or more than a few days). Recurring feelings of emptiness. Frequent intense, inappropriate anger or issues controlling temper. Severe dissociative symptoms or stress-related paranoia.
Conflict is never fun, but when you have borderline personality disorder, the sense of pain or rejection from confrontation can seem heightened.
One of the most common ways of characterizing patients diagnosed with borderline personality disorder is that they are manipulative. Clinical usage of the term varies widely but clearly carries a pejorative meaning.
Rejection Sensitivity
People with BPD are very sensitive to rejection. They may lie or exaggerate to cover mistakes or to maintain an overly positive image so that others will not reject them.
However, those positive attributes are not without the proverbial strings attached; when the BPD explodes with vindictive rage, all they said or gave to their loved one may be taken away in one fell swoop of aggression. BPDs experience the world in extremes: black-and-white or all-or-nothing.
People experiencing BPD feel overwhelming emotions, and to help manage this, their minds label people as either wholly good or wholly bad. This is not because those with BPD are inherently judgmental; it's a self-preservation technique.
Cyclical Nature of BPD Abandonment
The fear of being abandoned often causes people with BPD to form unhealthy attachments. Sometimes, they may abruptly cut off these relationships, effectively abandoning their partners. Other times, they make frantic attempts to hold onto relationships.
A pattern of intense and unstable relationships with family, friends, and loved ones. A distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self. Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance misuse, reckless driving, and binge eating.
So, what exactly does the BPD break up cycle look like? It can look like fear of abandonment, distrust of a partner, cheating, lack of communication and self-blame. It can look like idolizing a partner, confusing strong emotions for passion, anxiety and overreacting to interactions perceived as negative.
Anger that is intense, uncontrolled, or inappropriate can be a devastating symptom for someone struggling with borderline personality disorder. They may be driven by a desire to be connected to others, yet loss of emotional control frequently drives others away. In some cases, the level of rage can lead to violence.
In close relationships, a person with BPD may appear jealous, possessive, or hyper-reactive. These individuals often fear being left alone and have deep feelings of worthlessness. In many cases, this disorder is the direct result of childhood trauma, abuse, violence, or neglect.
Unpredictability, irritability, defiance and impatience signify the petulant borderline. They tend to be stubborn, pessimistic and resentful as well. They teeter between extreme feelings of being unworthy and anger. They can explode with these episodes of anger.
Intense, inappropriate anger can be one of the most challenging symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD). This anger in BPD is often referred to as “borderline rage.” It can lead to explosive episodes of anger that are difficult to manage and can have a significant effect on a person's relationships.
Expecting Others To Act Selfishly Is A Key Symptom Of Borderline Personality Disorder.
What are the conditions that may drive a person in their manipulative behavior? In BPD, these conditions are a lack of affective self-understanding, difficulties with regulating one's own emotions, and an impeded interaffectivity that makes it incredibly difficult for the person to feel connected with other people.
Intense outburst of anger. Repeated involvement in risky, impulsive behaviors. Lack of a stable or clear self-image. Intense, often unreasonable fear of being abandoned.