Some of the signature behaviors of borderline personality disorder—self-cutting, sexual promiscuity, drug use, bingeing and purging, suicidal gestures—are attempts to escape from the intense negative emotions that overwhelm them. As a result, they often court chaos.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental condition in which a person has long-term patterns of unstable or turbulent emotions. These inner experiences often result in impulsive actions and chaotic relationships with other people.
Tend to sabotage their own happiness and wellbeing due to feelings of being undeserving. Unstable self-image (lack identity) Believes no one cares about them, and so they don't care about themselves. Unstable emotions.
Conflict is a recurring pattern for those with BPD as they attempt to meet other people's needs, express empathy, manage their emotions and reactions, and mitigate their tendency to become aggressive and/or challenging in communication style.
Borderline personality disorder causes a broad range of reactions that can be considered self-destructive or self-sabotaging. It influences thoughts, emotions, behavior, and communication, adding a degree of volatility and unpredictability to daily living that can be unsettling for BPD sufferers and their loved ones.
BPD splitting destroys relationships because the behaviour can be impulsive or reckless in order to alleviate the pain, often hurting loved ones in the process. It can feel like everyone abandons or hurts them, often causing them to look for evidence, and creating problems from nothing.
One of the most common ways of characterizing patients diagnosed with borderline personality disorder is that they are manipulative. Clinical usage of the term varies widely but clearly carries a pejorative meaning.
In a calm situation, the person feels insecure, not knowing when the next shoe will drop and unprepared for what type of abuse or disruption may lie ahead." Chaos serves another important function for borderlines. It distracts them from their emotional turmoil, observes the Mayo Clinic's Palmer.
What are the conditions that may drive a person in their manipulative behavior? In BPD, these conditions are a lack of affective self-understanding, difficulties with regulating one's own emotions, and an impeded interaffectivity that makes it incredibly difficult for the person to feel connected with other people.
However, those positive attributes are not without the proverbial strings attached; when the BPD explodes with vindictive rage, all they said or gave to their loved one may be taken away in one fell swoop of aggression. BPDs experience the world in extremes: black-and-white or all-or-nothing.
Expecting Others To Act Selfishly Is A Key Symptom Of Borderline Personality Disorder. Contributor.
Care and Management of BPD Splitting
Remember that splitting is a symptom of borderline personality disorder - while it can be difficult not to take their words and actions personally, remember that the person is not intentionally trying to hurt you. Splitting is something that they are doing unknowingly.
Those who suffer from self-destructive borderline systems lack a stable sense of self, and they are so dependent on others that their fear of abandonment often runs out of control. Men and women with self-destructive borderline symptoms are frequently moody, bitter, and filled with anger they may or may not express.
Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.
When stressed, people with borderline personality disorder may develop psychotic-like symptoms. They experience a distortion of their perceptions or beliefs rather than a distinct break with reality. Especially in close relationships, they tend to misinterpret or amplify what other people feel about them.
Borderline/dependent: A person with borderline personality disorder (BPD) is well-matched with a person who has a dependent personality disorder (DPD). The BPD has an intense fear of abandonment which is a good match for the DPD who will not leave even a dysfunctional relationship.
One relatively neglected explanation for the overblown rage so common in borderline personality disorders (BPD) relates to their unresolved trust issues. More often than not they were taught, however unintentionally, by their parents' unreliability, neglect, and criticism, not to trust them.
Patients with borderline personality disorder are often regarded as ungrateful and difficult to treat.
The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines the term sadistic as “taking pleasure in the infliction of pain, punishment, or humiliation on others.” Psychology Today assert that it is certainly possible for some individuals with BPD to be genuinely manipulative or sadistic.
Push/Pull behaviors
A common theory about why you might use this behavior if you have BPD is because you desperately crave closeness in your relationships but, fearing abandonment, you choose to reject this person before they can reject you.
Many people immediately think that a person with borderline personality disorder (BPD) are evil somehow. They assume they are heartless and self-centered, basically a psychopath. However, this is not the case at all. The reality is that most people with BPD are highly empathetic and caring.
According to HealthyPlace, selfishness in the case of BPD arises from unmet needs: People with a borderline personality often report being neglected or abused as children. Consequently, they feel empty, angry, and deserving of nurturing.
People with BPD fear abandonment and have trouble maintaining relationships. Nevertheless, they tend to lie, which ruins trust and intimacy, fosters resentment, and harms the very relationships they fear losing. Many family members and friends of those with BPD cite lying as a major problem in their relationships.
Those with borderline personality disorder tend to exhibit control over their environment by creating and exacerbating disruptive circumstances; thereby influencing others to behave in a certain manner to decrease the affected individual's reactions.
Once upset, borderline people are often unable to think straight or calm themselves in a healthy way. They may say hurtful things or act out in dangerous or inappropriate ways.