Cheaters are impulsive, and can't resist taking that risk despite what it might cost them. Cheaters, like bullies, are fueled by power, and drawn to risk. This kind of behavior, however, is a reflection of something deeply rooted inside of them.
Results of a 2005 study show that there is a significant difference between cheaters and non-cheaters when it comes to the Big Five model of personality traits. Poor self control, selfishness, anger, boredom, and attention-seeking are the most common reasons a person is unfaithful in their relationship.
Anger or Aggression
Anger and aggression are two other common initial reactions to accusations of cheating. Cheaters often use anger as a form of deflection to turn the situation around and make accusations against you instead, like that you don't trust them enough.
One of the most common reactions to being accused of cheating is anger. It's a knee-jerk reaction and it's often the case when someone is actually guilty – not always, but often. They're desperately scrambling to cover it up and their emotions rise to the point where anger takes over.
Infidelity isn't limited to texting. Cheaters will often use laptops and tablets, and even hidden apps, to communicate with a paramour. A new favorite place for texting is Google Docs. Your partner can claim to be working, rather than sexting with a new lover.
Traits of deceitfulness, manipulation and lack of remorse with zero empathy for their impact on others has been found time and time again in chronic cheaters. So how do we find ourselves in these relationships? Whether someone is a narcissist or a sociopath, or indeed both - these characteristics pair well together.
When a narcissist is caught cheating and lying, they often make up a heap of more lies to convince you that they've been nothing but faithful. Even if you have evidence of cheating, they're likely to deny everything and even project their infidelity onto you.
A cheater, however, may get defensive because you've blown their cover, says Milrad. "It is very common for cheaters to deflect responsibility and get irritated by your questions. They often try and shut you down and even criticize you for being too controlling or suspicious."
Infidelity can have lasting impacts on partners and children the couple may have. Grief, brain changes, behaviors down the road, and mental health conditions such as anxiety, chronic stress, and depression can result. Some families have been able to move past infidelity with time and therapy.
A study of 495 people revealed eight key reasons: anger, low self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and circumstance. 1 It's important to understand that these reasons arise within the cheater and are not the responsibility of the betrayed partner.
A cheater might suffer from extremely low self-esteem and a narcissistic view of seeing things. Some people have a tendency for attention-seeking and once they are satisfied with one person they might go on to another to fulfil their needs and validate themselves.
Research in the field of infidelity reveals that there are three distinct personality types correlated with a higher likelihood of cheating: sociopaths, narcissists, and lonely hearts.
Low sexual and relationship satisfaction, high sexual desire, and lack of love are the most robust predictors of infidelity.
In addition to deflecting blame, they will devalue you and make you wish you had never confronted them. Devaluing is a huge part of the narcissistic relationship. When it comes to devaluing you, catching them in a lie will be no different than dealing with any other conflict.
The karma of betrayal in a relationship is surely true but that doesn't mean you go out of your way to punish them and plot vengeance against them. Cheaters get karma by drowning in self-hate which is a consequence of their own actions.
Cheaters may lie or deny what happened.
They might also say things to make you doubt yourself, like “You're just being paranoid,” or “That's crazy, why would you think that?” This form of deception is called “gaslighting.”
Among men, 68% feel guilty after having an affair. Even if they haven't confessed the affair, most cheating husbands will feel guilty and express that guilt in their behavior. You may notice subtle changes in their behavior that make you wonder if your spouse is displaying cheating husband guilt.
Being cheated on
Cheaters actually have a deep-seated fear of betrayal themselves. They often feel suspicious and rejected in relationships and use this as an excuse to step out on their partners. Cheating gives philandering folks a feeling of power and control in their lives and relationships.