If your partner says they need space, it's easy to panic and think you've done something wrong—but the truth is, a little bit of space is healthy in a relationship. Sometimes we start spending too much time together or we miss our friends or we just aren't feeling like ourselves—and space can help reset the balance.
"If you are just dating casually, on the verge of a making a commitment, and 'space' means being away with no contact for undetermined periods of days/weeks, and this is something you do not enjoy, then it is a sign to re-evaluate why you are dating in the first place," Kermit says.
Giving space in a relationship is necessary for both of you. But snapping all connections for too long is also not advisable. If your partner has not called or texted for more than three days, the issue might be serious. However, resist the urge to call him and wait for a week to pass.
In most cases, you'll need to give them several days or possibly weeks of space, depending on what happened. During this time, don't call or text them more than you agreed. If you do, they'll feel like you aren't respecting their wishes and may become more upset. If you can, ask them what they'd prefer.
“Space can be from a couple of hours to a couple of days or weeks,” says Ruiz, though he generally doesn't recommend his clients take longer than 3 to 4 weeks. “The timeframe that is being considered should be reasonable for both parties to agree with,” he says.
Coan advises every couple to adhere to the 70/30 rule: For the happiest, most harmonious relationship, the pro suggests spending 70% of time together, and 30% apart. That gives each of you enough freedom to explore your own interests while still being rooted and invested in your relationship.
But therapists and relationship experts agree that, under the right circumstances, and done the right way, a break can be a healthy way to deal with issues and strengthen a relationship. If it is not meant to be, it can also be a way to end the relationship in a positive way that lets you retain your friendship.
Set a reasonable time frame
Six months is a break up, not a break, the experts say. Anything from one week to a month should be enough time for one or both parties to determine whether they should stay together.
The worst thing you can do when a girl asks for space is to overanalyze the situation, so don't! It may seem odd, but this is a good thing. By telling you what she needs, she's giving you a roadmap to building a successful relationship.
Give her space when she tells you she needs it, even if it's just for a few hours. Do not tag along with her on every little thing, especially if it interests her or makes her happy. A woman should spend time doing things by herself without feeling like she is neglecting you.
Needing space and breaking up are two different things, and there's no reason to jump to conclusions in your relationship. If your issues are small, why not try working things out first? If you can't improve your relationship from there, you can always break up in the end.
How much space in a relationship is normal? As long as two people get to do their own things that they enjoy doing that space in a relationship is normal. For instance one partner might enjoy reading and one partner might like watching football.
Bring up how the break will benefit you both.
Then, suggest taking a break by talking about how space could ultimately strengthen your relationship. Try to agree on a common goal or meaning behind the break—whether that's working through doubts, cooling down from arguments, or reconnecting with personal goals.
You're less interested in spending time together: When a relationship loses its spark, you may spend more time with your friends than your partner. You may even find that you're very easily annoyed by them, causing you to punish your partner or avoid each other altogether.
What does it mean when the spark is gone? Sometimes a couple can lose its spark as a relationship. This could be due to several reasons: a dissipated sex life, you're no longer talking, you're not spending enough time together, and you don't make an effort to go out with friends or do anything fun anymore.