That might sound like it means you're not with the right person or like your relationship is going downhill, but the truth is, having that "falling out of love" feeling is completely normal.
If you find yourself totally disinterested in what your partner thinks, feels, says or does, it's likely that loving feeling is gone. Arzt adds people who “only do the bare minimum” may be falling out of love. “They may oblige with date night, but they feel restless and bored,” she says.
Love evokes fond feelings and actions toward the other person, particularly. Attachment is driven by how you feel about yourself with the degree of permanence and safety someone gives you, based on your past relationships.
There's No Emotional Connection
One of the key signs your relationship is ending is that you are no longer vulnerable and open with your partner. A cornerstone of happy, healthy relationships is that both partners feel comfortable being truly open to sharing thoughts and opinions with one another.
Working with a therapist can be helpful in assessing where both your hearts lie. Jernigan recommends discernment counseling, a type of therapy specifically designed to help couples work toward either reawakening their love or saying a loving goodbye. You can also look into couples therapy more broadly.
Communication issues and unrealistic expectations are two of the main reasons people find themselves falling out of love. But there are things that can be done to stop the fall. Relationships are hard work; they should be viewed as investments, particularly if there is a marriage.
Where you find yourself thinking of someone every day. Losing the love of your life is painful. You feel heavy with guilt, and regret lives in your gut. It is often at this point you question yourself, and think that this person you lost, has left a hole in your life that can never be filled.
Lack of sexual attraction and emotional connectedness are two of the most common factors contributing to the loss of love in marriage. Falling out of love is also not as uncommon as most people think. Research says, nearly 50% of all marriages in the United States will end in divorce.
Stonewalling, one of the Four Horsemen, is Dr. John Gottman's term for one or both partners shutting down when feeling overwhelmed during conflict. Rather than confronting the issue, someone who is stonewalling will be unresponsive, making evasive maneuvers such as tuning out, turning away, or acting busy.
The Challenge Of Attachment
One of the reasons love can fade over time is that it's hard to keep that dopamine buzz going. "Dopamine gets us interested in each other, but it responds only to things that are new or that are possible rather than real," Dr. Lieberman says.
"If you're no longer spending any time together, if one or both partners is spending all their time at work, with friends, online — and if feels like a relief not to be with each other — it's a sign that you've already disengaged from the marriage." You don't support or listen to each other.
Even though you love your spouse deeply, you will still feel unhappy and alone sometimes. This is normal; it's not an indicator that something has gone wrong with your marriage.
They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, according to Mental-Health-Matters. These are the natural ways for your heart to heal.
But in fact, it's normal to sometimes feel lonely in a relationship—whether you're long distance, live together, or anywhere in between. A disconnect can happen even if you consider your relationship to be relatively healthy. "Life has a way of pulling us apart," she adds.
Love versus emotional dependency.
"Love" that comes from fear isn't love—it's neediness. Emotional dependency comes from the inner emptiness that is created when you abandon yourself—and you then expect your partner to fill your emptiness and make you feel loved and safe.
While it can be hard to know when to walk away from a relationship, that lack of feeling could be a telltale sign. “If you're staying out of guilt or a desire to not hurt the other person, your heart's definitely in a good place — it's just not in the relationship anymore,” Schafler says.
A truly loving relationship should have communication, affection, trust, appreciation, and mutual respect. If you see these signs, and the relationship is a healthy, honest, nurturing one, you would likely consider your relationship one of true love.
The term gaslighting became popular in the 1960s. It is used to describe the manipulation of another person's perception of reality. Gaslighting is a common tool used by narcissistic and abusive spouses to control their partners. When done correctly, gaslighting can make a spouse doubt their own senses and memory.