Think about the last time you made time to spend with your friend and the last time they took to spend time with you. Do you find yourself canceling plans with them in favor of other activities? If so, the friendship isn't a priority for one or both of you, and that means you're drifting apart.
Drifting apart or losing friendships entirely is a natural part of life—and it's something experts call the "friendship curve." The less depressing news is that there are ways to feel at peace with it.
If your friend doesn't respect your feelings, it's an unhealthy relationship. Feeling anxious or negative in your friendship is a sign that it may be best to end it. Your friend is dishonest or holds back information. “Deep connections require trust,” Schmitt says.
Maybe the people you used to hang out with just aren't around anymore, or casual friends have become non-existent. Friends come and go in different ways, but if it's hit you hard, it may be time to start paying attention to why you're feeling a little lonelier than usual.
A recent study published by the Aalto University School of Science in Finland and Oxford University found that for both men and women, the age of 25 is when most of us start losing friends. Researchers call this a "peak" point, and as we get older, our group of contacts begin to drop.
Obviously, most people don't meet all of their friends during childhood and, unfortunately, not all friendships last forever. The poll found that the average friendship lasts for 17 years, however, 17 percent say they've had the same best friend for over 30 years!
Often getting left out can result from simple miscommunications: Maybe your friends thought you were too busy with your job to go shopping on a weekday. Perhaps you accidentally texted them the wrong date or time for an event, and they planned something else without you.
The group makes you feel bad about yourself
Healthy friendships lift us and make us feel better about ourselves. If people in the group insult you or make you feel unworthy, the group is probably toxic. A bit of teasing is okay now and then but if you're always the butt of mean jokes, the group could be toxic.
In general, based on 2021 survey data, the average person in America has between 3 and 5 close friends. According to this survey: almost half (49%) report having 3 or fewer close friends. over one-third (36%) report having between 4 and 9 close friends.
Recent research has revealed why people may end friendships. The reasons can be categorized into four categories, including selfishness, infrequent interaction, romantic involvement, and perceptions.
Well, as it turns out, besties – much alike regular friendships – are fleeting. In fact, new research conducted by The Book Of Everyone has found that most women will have six over the span of her lifetime. The study established these friendships last for 16 years on average.
Recent research actually tells us that the average female friendship lasts 16 years, which is 6 years longer than the average romantic relationship. Once we turn 55, our friendships on average last 23 years!
Your friend is being more vulnerable than usual around you. The closeness that you two have has become deeper. If you both share deep secrets or things you're scared or hesitant to verbalize to others, the line between friendship and love is getting blurry.
Trios often fall apart: over time, one person might find themselves ostracised from the group when the other two bond more deeply. And if you're the person who introduced two people who go on to prefer hanging out with each other, it can be incredibly painful.
Studies have shown that, when people reach their 30's, they start to value quality friendships over quantity. Once their social circles dwindle, people settle for fewer friendships. As an outsider to those social circles, you may find it more intimidating to “break in” to an already established social circle.
Some reasons why friendships do not last:
They feel taken advantage of. One friend always wants to choose what they do together. The friends are not honest about how they feel about something. The friends have a fight and they do not make up.
What he discovered was that only about 30 percent of our closest friends remain tried and true after seven years, and 48 percent remain in our immediate social network (meaning we actually talk to or hang out with them on occasion).
Circumstances: Your lives have changed (no longer working together, going to the same school, etc.). Distance: You've grown apart in terms of interests or commitments. Lying: Your friend is deceitful. Negativity: Your friend spends more time cutting you down than building you up.
People need at least a little human contact in order to thrive, and true isolation can take a toll on your overall well-being. If you're not totally isolated, though, and your lack of friends doesn't trouble you, it can be perfectly fine to be satisfied with your own company.
It's just your personality and social preference at the moment. There may not be a deeper reason why you quickly lose interest in people. Maybe you're in a busy phase in your life, and new friendships aren't your priority. Maybe you're younger and your mind is more fickle than it will eventually be.