If your partner struggles to make eye contact or seems uncomfortable in social situations, this could be an indication of autism. Additionally, if they struggle with verbal and nonverbal communication or have a tendency towards repetitive behaviors, these could also be potential signs.
Main signs of autism
finding it hard to understand what others are thinking or feeling. getting very anxious about social situations. finding it hard to make friends or preferring to be on your own. seeming blunt, rude or not interested in others without meaning to.
Some may find it challenging to express love verbally or through typical social cues, but they can still demonstrate affection and care through their actions, interests, and consistent support. That said, autism is a spectrum, and each individual's experience and expression of love may vary.
Persons on the autism spectrum often have trouble staying on topic and maintaining a conversation. Social skills are also affected. Eye contact may be difficult and sometimes facial expressions may not reflect an individual's true feelings. Social cues are often missed or misread.
People with autism may get easily attached to people, leading them to become over-friendly. It can be difficult to understand other people's perceptions of situations, therefore what they feel is appropriate, may be considered as socially unacceptable.
Autistic individuals may have problems communicating sexual needs which can cause issues in intimate relationships. They may seek to satisfy these needs on their own, rather than communicate them with their partner. In turn, this can result in hurt feelings.
Research has found that autistic people are equally interested in romantic relationships as neurotypical people. They just tend to have a slightly harder time knowing how to navigate dating and interpreting social cues, particularly at the start of the relationship.
Although the exact cause of autism is still unknown, there is evidence to suggest that genetics play a significant role. Since autism is less prevalent in females, autism was always thought to be passed down from the mother. However, research suggests that autism genes are usually inherited from the father.
Signs of High-Functioning Autism in Children
May appear more mature for their age and have above-average intelligence. A tendency to avoid eye contact. Trouble deviating from a routine or adapting to changes. Trouble making friends and maintaining social relationships or not “fitting in” with peers.
People with mild autism still have a hard time communicating and interacting with others. They can also find it difficult to change their routine and can be sensitive to sounds, pain, tastes, or other sensations. But generally, they are able to carry out the tasks of daily living well.
People who did not receive a diagnosis in their younger years may have milder symptoms, which can be more difficult to recognize. At times, such people may never get a diagnosis. If people have been living with ASD for some time, they may be better at masking the signs and symptoms.
We find that an autistic person often expresses their love to their partner in their loyalty and commitment, and often by practical deed. The experience of love may be felt as a sense of appreciation for being understood and assisted.
Either you or your partner may benefit from counselling to think through your feelings and decide on possible coping strategies. You can find counsellors with autism experience on our Autism Services Directory. You may also like to make contact with others in the same position for understanding, support and advice.
Some people with autism don't instinctively think to give kisses or hugs and tell you they love you, so their partner often has to be the one to initiate these things. As they learn, they'll get better at consciously deciding to do these things on their own.
People with autism often experience love differently from neurotypical people. Their expression of love is less straightforward, as they tend to rely heavily on non-verbal communication.
Some kids on the spectrum feel a constant need for affection because they are not sure when or if the attention will be available. Schedule 5 to 10 minutes every day when you can provide your youngster with undivided attention (i.e., no computer, T.V., cell phones, etc.).
Some autistic people might like more 'obvious' forms of flirting like grand gestures, crafting things for someone or writing letters.
Understanding the Response to Affection
Individuals with autism can also have an aversion to touch. Touch can cause a lack of emotional response or may even cause emotional stress and turmoil.
Behavioural problems
Being super-focused on something (i.e., hyper-focus). Becoming upset if their daily routine is changed. Having really intense interests (such as learning everything about a certain topic or focusing on only one object or one film). Dislike of being touched.
Physical touch can present complications for an autistic person. They may abhor all types of physical interaction, they may crave certain kinds of physical contact, or different intensities in certain situations. Knowing your loved one is key.
Many autistic people enjoy spending time alone and consider it important for their wellbeing.
Summary. While many people with autism may appear to lack empathy and sympathy, it is not the case for all people with autism. For those who struggle with displaying appropriate empathetic responses, the reasons may relate more to social communication issues than a lack of underlying emotional response.