An excessive desire to be liked can stem from a lot of different issues. Perhaps you experience a little social anxiety and you worry that others are judging you harshly. So in an effort to reduce your anxiety you go a little overboard trying to be liked.
It feels unnatural—and downright scary—to think that there are (or will be) people who won't necessarily like us. But here's the big, earth-shattering truth: it's okay to not be liked by everyone.
People who have a fear of rejection are afraid of not being liked, being abandoned, not fitting in or being alone. People who fear rejection may struggle with low self-esteem, lack of confidence, shame, or guilt, and spend a lot of time and energy worrying about what others think of them.
If you have the need to be liked, you might have an external locus of control. You might connect your self-worth with the number of people who like you, rather than how you feel about yourself. Sociotropy is a state of being dependent on other people and a preoccupation with people-pleasing.
People with philophobia may feel distant from potential romantic partners and may even feel afraid of them. In some situations, philophobia has the potential to lead to impotence in males. Some people may feel guilty about needing love because they may have learned from a parent that they need to be independent.
Being genuine and honest is essential to being likeable. No one likes a fake. People gravitate toward those who are genuine because they know they can trust them. It is difficult to like someone when you don't know who they really are and how they really feel.
We may dislike them because we are afraid of them. They are sarcastic, or they are likely to make fun of us to our backs. We may dislike them because they deflate our ego. They boss us, they are domineering, they know more than we know, or in some way make us feel smaller.
So why do some of us do this? Obsessive crushes aren't just frustrating - they could be a type of addiction, according to researchers. Dr Gery Karantzas, an Associate Professor at Deakin University studying love and relationships, said some of us get an emotional "reward" from fantasising about a crush.
Overview. Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a common, chronic, and long-lasting disorder in which a person has uncontrollable, reoccurring thoughts ("obsessions") and/or behaviors ("compulsions") that he or she feels the urge to repeat over and over.
Don't take it personally
Although it may feel personal when someone doesn't like you, often times it isn't about you at all, it's about them. “It may hurt, but you need to accept the fact that not everyone's going to like you,” says health and wellness expert Caleb Backe.
Being popular comes down to being a good person. People want to be around individuals that stand out from the crowd with their kindness, confidence, positivity, authenticity, and charisma.
Likable people are the ones who make the world a better place. They're kind, caring, and always ready to help out. If you want to be likable, start by being interested in others and try to always see the good in them. Be supportive, helpful, and humble.
Likable people are seen as approachable and personable because they are open-minded and willing to talk to and listen to many different types of people. They avoid having preconceived notions or passing judgment on others, but are willing to hear others out and get different points of view.
They Are Genuine
Being genuine and honest is essential to being likeable. No one likes a fake. People gravitate toward those who are genuine because they know they can trust them. It is difficult to like someone when you don't know who they really are and how they really feel.
If you share something overly personal too soon or hide your emotions, for example, you may unwittingly repel people. Even the smell of your sweat or a hard-to-pronounce last name — things that are mostly out of your control — can be a turn-off.
Breathe through panic
Stay where you are and simply feel the panic without trying to distract yourself. Place the palm of your hand on your stomach and breathe slowly and deeply. The goal is to help the mind get used to coping with panic, which takes the fear of fear away.
Fear of vulnerability can also stem from abusive relationships or criticism from family members; such hurt can impact a person's mental health and lead to low self-esteem. A positive circle of friends and family, plus the desire to try new things and step outside of your comfort zone, can help boost self-worth.
Letting go is hard because it means that you need to free yourself from some aspects of your past. Things that have become a part of yourself – of what makes you who you are today. Most people understand this as getting rid of that “thing” resulting in a change in who you are.
Love can feel a whole lot like anxiety.
"Not being able to eat, being preoccupied, being unsettled, nervy, jumpy, ungrounded, those can be symptoms of anxiety, but they can also be symptoms of excitement," says Sally Baker, senior therapist at Working on the Body.
Anxiety interferes with your ability to function. You often overreact when something triggers your emotions. You can't control your responses to situations.
There are many reasons why someone might feel anxious about their relationships. They might fear being abandoned or rejected or worry that their feelings are not reciprocated. Some may worry that their partner will be unfaithful or that the relationship will not last.