Living with someone who has borderline personality disorder (BPD) can feel confusing and cause anxiety in your relationship. It often leads to rifts in personal relationships and even poses problems in maintaining employment, which can lead to further turbulence due to financial woes.
“Clinicians should know that people with BPD can successfully marry or live with a partner in a stable relationship and become parents.
They may evidence your partner's difficulty regulating emotions and their persistently unstable self-image. Quickly changing emotions may also contribute to the relationship cycle. Your partner with BPD may experience changes in mood going from feelings of elation and enjoyment to anxiety, insecurity, or distress.
People with borderline personality disorders are aware of their behaviors and the consequences of them and often act in increasingly erratic ways as a self-fulfilling prophecy to their abandonment fears.
Romantic relationships are not the only ones that can trigger a person with BPD to experience an episode. Their relationships with friends, family, and colleagues can also spark symptoms if they experience any sort of rejection, criticism, or threat of abandonment.
Antipsychotics are widely used in BPD, as they are believed to be effective in improving impulsivity, aggression, anxiety and psychotic symptoms [Nose et al. 2006; American Psychiatric Association, 2001].
Often, the borderline person is unaware of how they feel when their feelings surface, so they displace their feelings onto others as causing them. They may not realise that their feelings belong within them, so they think that their partner is responsible for hurting them and causing them to feel this way.
If your partner has a personality disorder, such as Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder, and is not getting help, you may need to leave. It can be very painful to be at the other end of some of the behaviors of those dealing with a personality disorder.
Results found in a 2014 study found the average length of a BPD relationship between those who either married or living together as partners was 7.3 years. However, there are cases where couples can stay together for 20+ years.
A person with BPD may also be very physical and eager to spend a lot of time with their partner. At the same time, people with BPD are sensitive to abandonment or rejection. Many are hyperfocused on perceived signs that a romantic partner isn't happy or may leave them.
People with borderline personality disorder often find it difficult to trust other people . This, along with their fear of abandonment and tendency to idealize or devalue relationships, may make it difficult to ensure that this condition does not negatively impact relationships.
Even though it can be challenging, it is possible for people with borderline personality disorder to lead healthy lives and have stable relationships with their partners.
Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.
There are various studies in mood stabilizer use, like lithium, carbamazepine, oxcarbazepine, sodium valproate and lamotrigine, in the treatment of borderline personality disorder. Moreover, there are also studies, which have revealed efficacies of risperidone, olanzapine and quetiapine as atypical antipsychotics.
Many people who live with BPD will also experience other mental health problems. Such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders, PTSD and alcohol or drug misuse. People who live with BPD can also be diagnosed with bipolar disorder. The symptoms of bipolar disorder can often be confused with those of BPD.
Anger that is intense, uncontrolled or inappropriate can be a devastating symptom for someone who has BPD. They may be driven by a desire to be connected to others, yet loss of emotional control frequently drives others away. In some cases, the level of rage experienced can lead to violence.
When faced with BPD rage – which stems from the BPD person's interpretation of an event – it is important that you react in a calm and validating manner. Take care of your own emotional and mental health and seek therapy for yourself. Encourage and support treatment (when the BPD person is ready)
Respect their need for space. You will reach a point where your loved one seems to be pushing you away. Don't walk away and leave them, but do respect their need for space. And let them know that.
Borderline personality disorder causes a broad range of reactions that can be considered self-destructive or self-sabotaging. It influences thoughts, emotions, behavior, and communication, adding a degree of volatility and unpredictability to daily living that can be unsettling for BPD sufferers and their loved ones.
In close relationships, a person with BPD may appear jealous, possessive, or hyper-reactive. These individuals often fear being left alone and have deep feelings of worthlessness. In many cases, this disorder is the direct result of childhood trauma, abuse, violence, or neglect.
If someone has a borderline personality, they will always push people away, in fear of getting hurt. This is extremely difficult and painful for the people around them, as the sufferer can seem cold and angry, attention seeking, or not wanting help.