INFJs are a fierce personality type defined by their idealism, achievement, perfectionism, and sensitivity. These introverts are hopeless romantics who tend to fall in love easily, but they also struggle to make the first move, flirt and show love once they're in a relationship.
As sensitive personalities, INFJs feel attracted to people who show kindness towards others. Extraverted Feeling is their auxiliary function, which means INFJs try to connect in a gentle way, and appreciate those who can do the same. Most INFJs also strive to make a positive impact on the world.
INFJs' Two Favorite Love Languages
There are five different love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, or Physical Touch. From what I've seen online and the INFJs I've talked with, Quality Time and Words of Affirmation are the two most popular love languages for INFJs.
You need extra time to feel comfortable around someone.
Even though we care deeply about others — and we desire deep connections — and we love intimate conversations — INFJs are private individuals. Like, extremely private. We let very few people in on our thought processes and emotions.
INFJs are most likely to marry someone who shares their values and vision for the future, regardless of their personality type. INFJs are more likely to marry someone who values emotional depth and intimacy and is dedicated to personal growth and development.
An INFJ might flirt by asking someone to listen to a song that might help convey feelings the INFJ can't verbalize. We flirt by being awkward. Do we spend a lot of time around them and try to catch a quick glimpse, and then turn away? We flirt with time.
Meaningful Connections
INFJs value deep and meaningful connections with others, and they thrive on authentic conversations. They deeply appreciate people who are genuine and sincere as well. Generally, they prefer small groups or one-on-one interactions where they can connect with others on a deeper level.
Advocate (INFJ) Weaknesses. Sensitive to Criticism – Advocates aren't averse to feedback – that is, unless they believe that someone is challenging their most cherished principles or values. When it comes to the issues that are near and dear to them, people with this personality type can become defensive or dismissive.
True vulnerability may be challenging at first, so INFJs need partners who can be patient until trust is built in the relationship. The feelings of those closest to them, including romantic partners, are like an open book to INFJs and they tend to assume that others can see into their hearts just as easily.
Relationships can be overwhelming for the sensitive INFJ. After all, we tune into other people's emotions and sometimes struggle to sort our complex feelings out. Yet, as intense as INFJ relationships can be, these personalities usually seek long-term commitment from a partner, not a casual fling.
In a relationship, they hope they can finally be open about their thoughts, feelings, visions, and perceptions. They want a partner who is transparent and real with them; someone who shares their feelings and discusses both their strengths and mistakes.
Don't ever pressure an INFJ to engage in social interactions. Introverts often struggle to be understood, since far too many extroverts don't understand what it's like to want alone time. If you're dating an INFJ, don't pressure them to spend more time with friends or increase their social circle.
An INFJ can be difficult to spot due to the fact that they're not prevalent in society and tend to be reserved individuals. However, INFJs can make fiercely loyal friends, empathetic and organized employees, and exceptional leaders for causes they deem worthy and for the greater good of humanity.
At their best, INFJs make modest, reliable teammates, and allow others to take the lead. INFJs may undervalue their own needs, ideas, and contributions, acting overly shy and not taking credit when due. At their worst, INFJs can be excessively submissive, ineffectual, and too dependent on direction from others.
Leaders and curious individuals tend to be most attracted to INFJs. This is so because the INFJ exudes an aura of mystery, and they are often misunderstood, for they are the rarest personality type. As such, many ENTJs find themselves attracted to this personality type.
INFJs are sensitive souls who are easily overwhelmed, but they have their limits. If they feel stressed by their environment, or the people in it, they'll tend to cry or become very quiet and want to be alone. Some INFJs will be cold, sarcastic and very blunt or speak to someone only on a very superficial level.
INFJ personality types love to learn about their partner and use what they've learned to improve the relationship. INFJs are best matched with someone who shares this desire. Otherwise, they're likely to feel like they are not being appreciated or valued. According to Keirsey, the ideal match for the INFJ is the ENTP.
The best matches for an INFJ are the ENFP and the ENTP personality types. Both the ENFP and the ENTP types openly give support to those around them and to those who need affirmation.
Exercising alone is helpful, and some INFJs find great solace in nature. Other stress busters include light reading, writing in a journal or meditation.