Emotionally healthy people respect your boundaries and have empathy and concern if they cross them. However, narcissists and toxic personalities do not and often thrive on this behavior due to their own emotional problems. Therefore, establishing firm boundaries is a must for your own mental health.
What happens when you defend yourself to a narcissist?
They are incapable of seeing their own bad behaviors, and it is simply easier to blame you. The more you try to convince them of the justification for your actions, decisions, or behaviors, the more they see your defense or explanation as a sign of guilt and wrongdoing. Narcissists will not change.
This might sound a bit counterintuitive, but narcissists love to go on the attack whenever presented with the opportunity. By trying to defend yourself against their random baseless attacks on you, you provide them further opportunities to pull you down.
Are You an Empath? Here Are 11 Ways to Protect Yourself from Narcissists
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What turns a narcissist off?
When you don't depend on anyone to make money and you use your abundance to take care of yourself and not predators, you will always have the ability to control your own future. This is power, and pathologically envious narcissists are often turned off by it because it means they cannot easily control a victim.
Disconnect from the narcissist's emotional energy. Be vague and don't argue back: “That's interesting.” “I understand how you feel.” Sometimes no response is very powerful and will upset them. Insist on calm, respectful tone and words. Leave if they become angry.
Deep-Seated Fear of Rejection / Being Unimportant – This is the core of narcissistic rage. Many narcissists are constantly hounded by the insecurity that people may not see them as the privileged, powerful, popular, or “special” individuals they make themselves to be, and react intensely when their fears are confirmed.
Narcissists feel threatened whenever they encounter someone who appears to have something they lack—especially those who are confident and popular. They're also threatened by people who don't kowtow to them or who challenge them in any way. Their defense mechanism is contempt.
Other signs of narcissistic collapse may include: increased irritability. increased sensitivity. verbal expressions of strong emotions like hate. ... Signs of a narcissistic collapse
What happens when a narcissist knows you figured them out?
When a narcissist is exposed or when the narcissist knows you have figured him out, they will never admit the truth even if it is staring them in the face. A narcissist will lay several false accusations and try to make him right. They will say things you didn't utter and misinterpret all your intentions.
Narcissists don't know they're hurting you. It doesn't even enter their minds. And, if you try to tell them how you feel, they get defensive and make you feel you're wrong again. In fact, they'll even rather “innocently” tell you: “I'm only trying to help you.”
The only way to keep the peace with a narcissist is to accept that you are in a relationship with someone who is very mentally ill and untreated. (If they committed to intense treatment, you may have more empathy for them).
