Heal your low self-esteem
The first thing you can do to stop being a nice guy is to take time to understand who you are and get in touch with your personal rights. Having self-esteems means taking charge of your own life and doing things that improve your mental health.
What causes the nice guy syndrome? According to Psychologist Dr. Robert Glover, the nice guy syndrome is genuine and relates to the men's upbringing, with each sharing commonalities in that they were not well-connected with their dads, who might have been physically and emotionally unavailable.
The toxic Nice Guy. He is a philanthropist always eager to lend a helping hand and offer solutions. Everyone loves him; they think he's a hero. But in reality, he's bitter, with a very fragile ego. His interest in making a difference is driven by validation and power.
Praise his acts of service. Nice guys tend to do a lot for the people they love. Try not to take those things for granted, and appreciate him for what he does for you. Thank him for doing nice things, or write them down so you remember just how good of a partner he is.
"But when someone is too nice, it conveys a lack of boundaries. It may be a signal that they are not taking care of themselves and their own needs first." People who are too nice tend to put everyone else, especially their partner, first. They're selfless, overly positive, and can easily be manipulated.
Amelia originally employed Healey's services for protection, and March agreed to find and ultimately save her. They failed. Amelia died, brutally, due to the machinations of her own mother. And at movie's end, March and Holland are on the same page, cracking wise.
Some studies have shown that having a nice personality can even affect impressions of a person's physical attractiveness. Characteristics such as warmth, kindness, and basic decency are valued by both women and men – having them makes us more desirable partners, but also makes us appear more physically attractive.
This is sometimes referred to as "Nice Guy Syndrome", which is used to describe a sense of entitlement to sexual or romantic attention from women simply for being "nice", and irrational anger when that attention is not forthcoming.
Your partner might be being nice to everyone but you because he feels insecure. Probably, he's insecure about your life, your success, and your achievements. He knows that you can achieve your dreams, goals, and ambitions if you want to. He even tends to compare himself with your past boyfriends.
And here we come to the last and the most important reason why nice guys get friendzoned – because they choose to be boring! You heard that right. Nice guys are never as exciting as other men. Under the constant pressure of earning the label of a 'nice guy' they stop being fun!
Often, being too nice in a relationship is a sign of a deeper insecurity. It may stem from our attachment style or from experiences we had in childhood. Being too accommodating in a relationship may also be a sign of low self esteem or codependency in relationships.
However the root cause underlying the nice-guy, friend-zone phenomenon is lack of authenticity. Women (and men also) are attracted to someone who is confident, has their own point of view, is kind to them, isn't afraid of them, and in some sense is “at their level” (meets them, challenges them, surprises them).
Nice guys finish last here.
…men who measured below average on agreeableness earned about 18% more—or $9,772 more annually in their sample—than nicer guys. Ruder women, meanwhile, earned about 5% or $1,828 more than their agreeable counterparts. “Nice guys are getting the shaft,” says study co-author Beth A.
Deep down, the nice guy just doesn't feel he is worthy of the girl. She is more attractive than him, more popular than him; he couldn't possibly offer her anything from his place of low value (at least in his mind). His vibe, actions and attitude are basically all saying one thing – that she is better than him.
The Nice Guys is rated R by the MPAA for violence, sexuality, nudity, language and brief drug use. Violence: - Frequent non-graphic violence.
Do I rarely feel like myself anymore? Am I anxious or desperate toward my relationship partner? Do I feel like there is something wrong with me that I am frantic to fix? Has my relationship impacted or hurt my friendships?
A good friend having a bad day might snap at you or seem distant, but they'll likely apologize once things settle down. Toxic friends, on the other hand, tend to follow a pattern that never really dies down. They won't show much regret or inclination to change, even when they realize they made you feel bad.
That being said, when a guy constantly refers to himself as a 'nice guy', makes a show of performing random acts of kindness, or conducts himself as if he's just so different from all the other men out there, this is an undeniable red flag that suggests he's overcompensating for who he really is behind the 'nice guy' ...
Niceness has been referred to as our 'most fundamental social dysfunction' (Summers, 2005) and in nursing, niceness can be (and often is) toxic and disabling.
An excessively nice person might never be really known on a deep level or taken seriously. Their preferences might be over-ridden, and they could be neglected. It can even impact your job. Being too accommodating can make you a bit invisible, because you never stand for anything.