Practice mindfulness by consciously interrupting your thoughts when you find yourself having longings for the kind of validation from men you don't truly desire and replace them with thoughts about the person you want to be. The more you do, the more you will become.
Male validation refers to any sort of approval from a man, which many people go out of their way to obtain, even when it hurts their self-esteem. We often seek male validation in order to feel better about ourselves or to secure our place in a social hierarchy, such as at work or within a friend group.
When you feel like something is lacking within you, you may crave someone. When you're emotionally all over the place on some level, you may crave someone. Feeding into a memory, the way a person made you feel or a desire that you possibly have been suppressing, that too can cause you to crave someone.
If a person feels that their thoughts, feelings, and emotions are not heard and understood, they may be left feeling isolated and unsupported. This, over a period of time, may trigger insecurity in some individuals whose sense of self-validation may be lacking and may turn them into validation addicts.”
Rather than seeking validation from others, consider slowing down and asking yourself what you need and finding a way to give validation to yourself. It's crucial to practice harm reduction by not seeking validation from people who could potentially cause you more emotional distress.
Validation and Love
Having a partner who understands and validates your feelings can be nothing short of fulfilling. Such validation builds one's self-esteem and one's confidence in a broader sense. Feeling validated, across all kinds of issues has the capacity to make one feel valued, appreciated, and loved.
One of the best ways to deal with someone who needs constant validation is to get feedback and give compliments. Get them out in the open and let them know how you think they're doing. Let them know that you appreciate their hard work and that you would like them to keep going. The more honest feedback, the better.
The hallmark signs of NPD include an inflated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy for others, and a deep need for constant attention or admiration. While someone with NPD's self-esteem can be off the charts, ironically, it can also be super fragile, dependent on external validation, or self-deception.
Dependent personality disorder.
People with this disorder rely heavily on others for validation and fulfillment of basic needs. They often can't properly care for themselves. People with dependent personality disorder lack self-confidence and security, and have a hard time making decisions.
Narcissists seek endless validation, attention, and praise to compensate for low self-esteem, confidence, and a perceived lack of acceptance. These struggles are often a result of early childhood trauma and attachment issues. Typically, the narcissist did not receive enough love as a child.
Adverse childhood experiences and having low self-esteem may influence why we seek approval. If you have a fragile sense of self-worth, it can be hard to validate your own experiences, so you may need to seek approval from others.
It allows us to be vulnerable with each other and feel the positive interaction and validation, and healthily express each other with our partners. Especially in those moments of doubt, people like receiving the affirmation that says we are valued and loved by our partners.
If enough of your external validation comes from attention, it can become an addiction a dependence on the affirmations of others in order to feel a sense of worth.
This, as well as the need for in-person validation, can create anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem, and make it addictive to hear praise, acceptance, and acknowledgment in all aspects of life.
It can take a toll on our self-esteem
If we're constantly seeking validation from others, we can start to believe that our worthiness is contingent on what others think of us. Low self-esteem can lead to unhealthy levels of self-consciousness and self-doubt.
Although reassurance is an essential part of healthy relationships, relying on constant reassurance is a red flag. If your partner needs incessant compliments to overcome their insecurities, it may signify an unhealthy attachment style.
You're not alone — many people may experience doubt in a relationship and may occasionally need reassurance. Your need for reassurance could stem from general self-esteem issues or a history of toxic relationships.
Being stuck in reassurance-seeking can lead to paralysis in decision-making, haunting worries about making a mistake or causing harm, insecurity and self-doubt. Seeking reassurance and checking repeatedly may seem like a way to nail down facts.
Quite often when we look externally for validation it's because we aren't sure we are enough. We need others to tell us that what we are doing is okay, or that we are accepted. Working on the relationship we have with ourselves is the first step to getting better at self-validating.
The opposite of external validation is giving permission.
So are highly empathetic people
Empaths and narcissists are often drawn to each other, because empaths have a lot of compassion and understanding to give, while narcissists thrive on someone worshipping them.
It is true that opposites attract. People who like to please are frequently drawn to people who like to control others. Pleasers have certain personality characteristics that are developed in childhood. They are often perfectionists who were influenced by very demanding parental expectations and/or criticism.
Narcissism demands to be fed and people pleasers are the best source. Contrary to the outward appearance of self-reliance, determination, and independence, narcissists internally crave approval from others. They need a constant daily supply of attention, admiration, and affection.