Often, people will utter hurtful words to others with no motive. Or, their motive could be simply to relieve their own pain. Remaining silent or strong-willed can be hard to do when one is taken by surprise by hurtful words.
There are various reasons why you may feel that you're engaging in mean or rude behavior, even if they're not immediately apparent to you. For example, an underlying mental health condition, a lack of social skills, cultural differences, or low self-esteem could all be potential causes.
Anger is usually the reason why people say hurtful things. Before you dissect those verbal attacks, or analyze the 'whys' and 'wherefores' of the negative behavior, it is best to understand where those words are coming from. Ninety-nine percent of the time, they are the manifestations of an intense emotion – anger.
Words can also cause harm. Childhood bullying, verbal abuse in domestic relationships, and even word choice by medical professionals can lead to emotional challenges. When you're faced with hurtful words, you can take steps to keep yourself safe.
Toxic arguments happen when there is blame and contempt. This destroys any chance of sustaining a healthy connection. By having the course got confront these patterns, you can transform your communication. Resolution only takes a willingness to get started and look at yourself.
Studies show that the tendency to make cruel remarks is a personality trait of narcissists, because they: See themselves as superior and more important than everyone else, and therefore more deserving.
You may be experiencing issues with anger management if you: Are hurting others either verbally or physically. Always find yourself feeling angry. Feel that your anger is out of control.
But why do so many people want to destroy or punch things when upset? And does it actually help? The release of tension that brings us to acts of aggression when we're mad is thought to be stress-relieving. Yelling, screaming, slamming doors, throwing things—these are all considered to have the same venting effect.
Answer: When our emotions are heightened, especially anger, it interferes with our ability to think straight. That is why it is not usually a good idea to have discussions when emotions are that escalated.
1. People stay in it too long. One of the big mistakes I see people making in my practice is this: Staying in a situation they know will illicit anger or staying in a situation when they are angry, well beyond the point where they can function appropriately.
Shutting down may be an automatic defense mechanism to protect oneself from further emotional distress. Trying to muscle your way through the emotional wave that hits you during conflict can prove to be ineffective, according to a study published in Practice Innovations.
Saying things that you don't mean to say usually are due to your brain being stressed and causing you to underthink what you are saying and not thinking of the future effects of the words which is why you typically don't realize the accidental comment is unintentional until after it is said and after your brain begins ...
“ You're *#@! % stupid. ” “ I wish you were never born. ” “ No one is ever going to love you, you're so *#@! % fat and ugly. ” “ You never get anything right. ” “ You're worthless. ” These are mean and degrading things to say to someone.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
What does it mean to stonewall someone? In simple terms, stonewalling is when someone completely shuts down in a conversation or is refusing to communicate with another person.
With words, we have something to direct our emotions toward. The words tend to make things immediately personal. When we take things personal, we feel everything deeper. It feels like our inner self is being attacked.