One example of a way to tell someone that their lack of affection is bothering you is to say, "I have been feeling sad because I need more affection than I'm receiving in this relationship. It would make me really happy if you were willing to work on becoming more affectionate."
If your relationship is lacking affection, it may be necessary to work on rebuilding your emotional connection. One of the easiest ways to do this is to bond together through things that you both enjoy, whether that's travelling, trying new foods, volunteering, painting, or really anything else.
"One way to regain affection is to focus on the positive," he explains. "Being happy, positive, giving compliments, and building up your partner is more likely to draw them back to you. Negativity only drives them further away."
When in love with someone or in a close relationship, it can be normal to want some level of affection to be shown, whether that's through cuddling, kissing, holding hands, or making love. However, craving more and more affection even when a partner consistently shows it could qualify as needy behavior.
The Need For Intimacy
The first and the most obvious reason why you may crave affection is because you don't have enough of it in your life. Some people tend to experience this due to a lack of close relationships, the absence of a romantic partner, or simply not having a strong support network of friends and family.
To avoid getting stuck in this neediness, practice being calm and clear. Look beyond the anger and defensiveness. Approach your partner from deeper emotions and try writing down what you really need. If you're hurt because you're lonely, then tell your partner directly that you need some time together.
A lack of affection in a relationship can affect partners and create emotional disconnection. If not addressed on time, partners may grow distant from each other, gradually leading to the end of the relationship.
Insecurities & Difficulty with Vulnerability:
This could be due to body image issues or just overall self-esteem. Many times when someone is not feeling confident, they will not want to initiate affection.
They could be handling a difficult life change or transition. There could be many reasons why your partner is not showing you the affection you desire, and according to therapist, dating and relationship coach and former matchmaker Lauren Korshak, one major reason could be that they are suffering from a crisis.
Other reasons why one partner may begin to avoid being touched by the other – If they are not experiencing much pleasure from coupled sex, they worry that it will lead to a fight, or if they have body image or self-confidence issues.
For people with low self-esteem, expressing affection may induce feelings of vulnerability. To minimize the risk of rejection, it can sometimes feel safer to withhold affection and gratitude entirely—to pursue the goal of minimizing rejection to the detriment of developing a satisfying relationship.
Very often, it can be caused by low self-esteem or insecurity. Expressing a strong need for attention can be a manifestation of the fear that a partner either doesn't like you, or that they'll leave.
“Hey I've been feeling a bit neglected lately.”
There's nothing wrong with the direct approach to take out guesswork if that's your dynamic. The key elements are tone and volume – calm and loving for both – which keep things away from bluntness. It can also help to throw in, “Things have been feeling off here.”
Although there is no bar that could measure how much affection is normal in a relationship, it all depends on what is comfortable for both you and your partner. It is an individual thing and varies from couple to couple. What might work for one couple may not be enough for another couple.
You need to find a comfortable time to have a conversation with him about this and ask him why he isn't giving you affection. It could be because he is angry with you, or because there are issues going on with him that you aren't aware of.
If intimacy is lacking, sometimes due to the fear of intimacy, you may at times feel disconnected or distant from your partner. You may feel like your partner is keeping secrets from you and there is an invisible barrier or wall between you and your partner.
A relationship can survive without intimacy, but it will become a real struggle for both partners as time goes on; neither partner will be happy or feel secure in the relationship.
Studies show that without regular touch from other living things, we are more likely to feel lonely, hollow and even depressed; it leads to affection deprivation, better known as “skin hunger”. There's a reason why, when you're feeling lonely or sad, you just need a hug.
Start Small and Be Positive. If you're worried about voicing your needs, start small and be positive. Express a small need to your partner that should be easily doable that they'll feel good about doing, such as telling them how good it makes you feel to receive a hug or kiss when you come home from work.