Shy, quiet people say this all the time: It's not they hate the idea of conversation, but they prefer to discuss deeper, more-interesting topics, not yak about the weather or sports just for the sake of speaking. They don't have as much patience for that kind of thing.
People who are shy often hesitate before trying something new. They often prefer watching others before joining in on a group activity. They usually take longer to warm up to new people and situations. Sometimes being quiet and introverted is a sign that someone has a naturally shy personality.
Talking to a shy person can sometimes be difficult, especially if you feel that you're the only one talking. The trick is to find topics that are engaging and to make the other person feel comfortable. You can even communicate with them online if in-person chats aren't working.
Whenever we think of introverts, we usually think of someone with a shy nature, who is not quite chatty or talkative. Yet, some introverts seem to be pretty talkative. Still, this kind of introvert needs personal time to recharge their batteries. There are many reasons why introverts are chatty.
Why, then, would we choose not to speak up? It's because our communication patterns, like most of what we do, are habits. If we've repeatedly had negative experiences around advocating for ourselves or social acceptance, we're less likely to feel safe speaking up.
Shy people don't think they're more important than others
But it is a trait that most of us find very likable and attractive in others. In fact, psychologists have consistently found that both men and women rate humility as one of the most desirable traits in a partner.
Shyness is usually associated with being quiet, insecure, and/or socially anxious. Being shy is not necessarily bad. We can all feel shy from time to time, so it's alright to feel a little uncomfortable in new situations and with new people.
Shyness is far more common than you might realise. In a Yougov survey of thousands of British adults, 57 per cent saw themselves as shy. And some shy people get on just fine, as their shyness only affects certain areas of their lives in a manageable way.
You might think that quiet people are shy, but they're not. They can come across as shy, but they're just observing before they jump in. Quiet people are more likely to be introverts than extroverts and tend to be more creative and sensitive than the average person.
Anxiety can also cause people to speak too quickly, or trial off as they lose their nerve halfway through their statement. A person may start talking quietly due to a conscious or unconscious desire to not draw attention to themselves (of course the irony is that speaking softly usually puts you more in the spotlight).
Introverts are often seen as people who don't like to talk to others, especially to strangers. Some people can even consider them unfriendly or big-headed. That's the biggest bias that harms those less talkative because sometimes the reverse is true.
If you are nervous, you might frown, look worried or look away. If you are wary or uneasy, you might look guarded, defensive or cross your arms. If you feel shy or unsure, you might cover your mouth or face with your hand or look at the ground.
Shyness doesn't always go away over time, but children can learn to be more confident and comfortable interacting with other people.
Being shy and being introverted aren't the same thing, although they may look the same. An introvert enjoys time alone and gets emotionally drained after spending a lot of time with others. A shy person doesn't necessarily want to be alone but is afraid to interact with others.
Your modesty is endearing
To others, you appear modest, empathetic and non-threatening, which are all attractive qualities. So, while shy people will often ponder for a long time before they approach someone, when they do, they tend to have a consistently good experience.
Being an introvert can be extremely attractive to some people. Introversion can seem mysterious and intriguing, especially if it pairs with qualities such as kindness or being a caring person. If you are an introvert, someone may be attracted to the fact that you appear humble and down to earth.
Shyness is not a weakness, but shy people are perceived as being weaker than outgoing people. This doesn't mean that a shy person is actually weaker, but most people will have this first impression, and in some situations, the first impression matters a lot.
Women report themselves to be higher in neuroticism, agreeableness and more shy and anxious, whereas men report themselves to be higher in assertiveness (Costa et al., 2001). It is postulated that gender creates a huge amount of difference between male and female.
It Comes Down To Personal Preference. Ultimately, it depends entirely on the man in question. Studies show that introverted or shy men are likely to be attracted to both shy and outgoing women, while extroverted men may have a preference for outgoing women.
No correlation (positive or negative) exists between intelligence and shyness. Research indicates that shy children have a harder time expressing their knowledge in social situations (which most modern curricula utilize), and because they do not engage actively in discussions teachers view them as less intelligent.
Lacking confidence speaking and being nervous is usually tied to your fear of being judged or not feeling that you are good enough. I have found that many people tell me that they lack confidence.
In many cases, social awkwardness comes from extreme anxiety. Social anxiety is more than just feeling shy. The National Institute of Mental Health reports that 12.1% of U.S. adults experience a social anxiety disorder at some time in their lives.
Speak up to protect yourself and others, speak up not to regret remaining silent. Speak your mind instead of suppressing your emotions. Speak up because others may not know what you know, so use it as a possibility to educate yourself and broaden your horizons.