If you're the target of jealousy, you may feel like someone (usually a partner or friend) is trying to control your life. They might do things such as check up on you, try to tell you what to do (or not do) and how to act, or limit your contact with friends and coworkers.
Not only will a jealous friend copy you, but they may act as if they're better than you. They'll try to make all of your accomplishments or work sound like nothing compared to theirs. In a conversation, they might interrupt your story about a vacation to talk about how amazing their own vacation was by comparison.
Remind yourself that it's them and not you
Take a step back and pause when you are getting treated unfairly because of someone's jealousy. Remind yourself that it is not you that has the problem, it is them. Their jealousy and underlying issues are causing them to act this way. Try not to take it personally.
People may be jealous of you because they believe they are not as good as you are. They may not be able to explain why they envy you, but deep down, they know that you're better than them. They try to compete with you, but it's just not fair. They can't match your skills or your accomplishments.
Jealous people are often non-confrontational. They may even come across as super-friendly; they fight their fight against you underhandedly. They will downplay your achievements, spread malicious gossip about you, or just talk crap regarding you behind your back.
Some of the various signs of jealousy might be accusations, suspicions, questioning your behavior or day-to-day activities, having negativity towards partner's relationships, comparing themselves to others, and more.
Jealousy may be driven by low self-esteem or a poor self-image. If you don't feel attractive and confident, it can be hard to truly believe that your partner loves and values you. Other times, jealousy can be caused by unrealistic expectations about the relationship.
But, unchecked, consuming jealousy can be toxic and destroy relationships. That's why we need to know how to recognize it and respond in a productive way, Stern and others say.
Ignore Them: Jealous people come in all forms, which are not always easy to ignore. However, if you get into the habit of blocking negative people in your life, you will be more successful. For instance, I had many people who've nefariously attacked my work and life.
They talk only about themselves
They are not interested in you or your life. All they want is a person who will listen to them. If a person genuinely likes you, they will ask questions and try to elicit answers from you. People who dislike you will marginalize your input and may disdain your thoughts and opinions.
As a general rule of thumb, a person is likely to be disliked if they are overwhelmingly negative, put others down or have no interest in their peers. Social anxiety can also be a concern; a person who thinks little of their own social aptitude may appear unlikable to others.
If you can avoid interacting with them at all, it may be best for everyone. If you have to interact with this individual, keeping things as calm and civil as possible could be the most beneficial course of action. Some people who feel hatred toward others might try to pick fights with them.
“Another common red flag is jealousy and distrust,” says Trueblood. “Often, the red flag of a very insecure partner looks like attentiveness at the start of a relationship, but there's an underlying control problem beneath all the attention.
Morbid jealousy is signaled by irrational, obsessive thoughts centered around a lover or ex-lover's possible sexual unfaithfulness, together with unacceptable or extreme behavior. Surprisingly, it occurs more often in older individuals and in males.
Jealousy is a “complex of thoughts, feelings, and actions which follow threats to self-esteem and/or threats to the existence or quality of the relationship” (White, 1981, p. 129). According to Pfeiffer and Wong (1989), jealousy construct consists of three dimensions: emotional, cognitive, and behavioral.