Although infidelity in a relationship is often subjective, there are common signs that point to cheating behaviors in a boyfriend. These may include a change in mood, increased distraction, less importance placed on the relationship, or more time spent on devices, among others.
Results of a 2005 study show that there is a significant difference between cheaters and non-cheaters when it comes to the Big Five model of personality traits. Poor self control, selfishness, anger, boredom, and attention-seeking are the most common reasons a person is unfaithful in their relationship.
Anger or Aggression
Anger and aggression are two other common initial reactions to accusations of cheating. Cheaters often use anger as a form of deflection to turn the situation around and make accusations against you instead, like that you don't trust them enough.
What hurts the most about being cheated on? There is no doubt that having someone you love and care about cheat on you is hurtful. People who have experienced infidelity report feeling betrayed, losing trust, rage, and damaged self-esteem.
A whole separate phone or SIM card
The most clever cheaters may use a separate phone or SIM card to keep phone communication discreet. A SIM card is especially devious because your partner can use the same device and then switch out the entire volume of data without anyone realizing it.
Research in the field of infidelity reveals that there are three distinct personality types correlated with a higher likelihood of cheating: sociopaths, narcissists, and lonely hearts.
People who habitually cheat may do so as a way of dealing with a fear of abandonment, which may stem from low self-esteem. They think that by being with multiple people, they won't be abandoned. Some people cheat repeatedly due to their own insecurities and a deep-seated fear that they are unlovable.
A cheater might suffer from extremely low self-esteem and a narcissistic view of seeing things. Some people have a tendency for attention-seeking and once they are satisfied with one person they might go on to another to fulfil their needs and validate themselves.
A study of 495 people revealed eight key reasons: anger, low self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and circumstance. 1 It's important to understand that these reasons arise within the cheater and are not the responsibility of the betrayed partner.
Tell him how his decision to cheat made you feel.
Explain how you feel about what happened and why it hurt you so much. Say as much as you need to say to feel better. You might say, “I feel so hurt and betrayed right now. I trusted you with my heart, and you broke it into a million pieces.”
Statistics show that only 31% of marriages last after the affair has been discovered or admitted to. People who are unfaithful to their partners regret causing their loved one so much pain and heartache. Even if the couple decides to stay together, it's very hard for them to have a trust-based, happy relationship.
Cheaters actually have a deep-seated fear of betrayal themselves. They often feel suspicious and rejected in relationships and use this as an excuse to step out on their partners. Cheating gives philandering folks a feeling of power and control in their lives and relationships.
There were no effects of one's own infidelity and that of one's partner on reactive and anxious jealousy, but those who had been unfaithful, as well as those whose partner had been unfaithful, expressed the highest levels of possessive jealousy.
5 Behavioral Changes To Expect From Your Partner After Getting Caught Cheating. “You can expect your partner to respond in extremes. They'll either become too hostile, or overly friendly. You might see them giving you more attention, buying you gifts, to overcompensate for their mistake,” says Kavita.
Not all narcissists are cheaters, but rates of infidelity are higher among them, which may concern people who are in a relationship with a narcissist. Your partner may show less interest in you, signs of inappropriate online behavior, flirt with others in front of you, and become defensive when you question them.
Being insecure
Another reason why someone might cheat is because they are insecure. "Usually, in this scenario, the partner that wants to cheat is seeking out confirmation of their desirability," Winter told INSIDER. "And they use the reinforcement of a new person to bolster their own self-confidence."
A man who cheats may be struggling with an inferiority complex or a crisis of identity. He may feel unlovable and believe this is an “excuse” to have an affair. He may rationalize his affair by blaming his partner: they “forced” him to do it, or perhaps he wanted revenge on them for something they did to hurt him.
The Progression of Infidelity
Much like the stages of grief, the stages of infidelity are not always linear. For one person, it may be micro-cheating that turns into emotional infidelity, followed by physical infidelity. For another, digital infidelity may turn into physical infidelity.