Many new parents need more time to bond. Bonding is when you develop feelings of unconditional love for your newborn. Often, bonding happens gradually over the baby's first year of life. So if you don't feel these strong feelings of closeness in the first days or weeks after birth, that's normal.
Bonding happens in many ways. When you look at your newborn, touch their skin, feed them, and care for them, you're bonding. Rocking your baby to sleep or stroking their back can establish your new relationship and make them feel more comfortable. When you gaze at your newborn, they will look back at you.
Attachment is the deep emotional bond between a baby and the person who provides most of their care. Just as most parents feel a strong connection with their newborn after birth, babies also become attached to their parents.
Emotionally absent or cold mothers can be unresponsive to their children's needs. They may act distracted and uninterested during interactions, or they could actively reject any attempts of the child to get close. They may continue acting this way with adult children.
Do Babies Feel Love? In short, yes: Babies do feel love. Even though it will be quite a while before they're able to verbalize their feelings, they can and do understand emotional attachment. Affection, for example can be felt.
How often should I cuddle my baby? As often as you can! In the early weeks, you may worry that you do not know what your baby is trying to communicate to you, but very soon you will begin to understand your baby's cries.
If bonding between the mother and child does not occur or is poorly established, it is thought to have negative consequences for their relationship. It may also reduce maternal 'feelings', leading to higher levels of maternal irritability and possible rejection and avoidance of the baby (Kinsey & Hupcey, 2013).
Babytalk | A baby's bond with its mother may start with the sense of smell. One of my favorite things to do is show mothers how their baby can smell them from as far away as 1 to 2 feet.
Babies have the right to be protected from injury and infection, to breathe normally, to be warm and to be fed. All newborns should have access to essential newborn care, which is the critical care for all babies in the first days after birth.
If your baby doesn't seem to miss you or want you to hold them, you might feel they don't like you. In some cases, it could be an issue called Reactive Attachment Disorder. This condition occurs when a baby misses the critical early bonding time with their mother or caregivers.
Still, the first few days of life are believed to offer an optimum opportunity for bonding to take place. Standard practice in most U.S. hospitals allows mothers and babies as much time as possible together after birth. Even when babies are born ill or premature, the importance of bonding is recognized.
Overall, babies simply find it easier to fall and stay asleep next to mom than they do dad. Mothers are also the source of breastfeeding which makes it much more natural to continue the night when milk is available.
Even young infants just a few days old should get two or three tummy time play sessions per day, each lasting three to five minutes. Playing doesn't have to mean entertaining your baby with toys all day long.
They include a distressing lack of maternal feeling, irritability, hostility and aggressive impulses, pathological ideas and outright rejection.
Babies often prefer their primary caregiver
Most babies naturally prefer the parent who's their primary caregiver, the person they count on to meet their most basic and essential needs. This is especially true after 6 months when separation anxiety starts to set in.
The Bottom Line
As long as your baby's essential needs are being met and you actively engage them in a loving way, how much or how little you hold them is entirely up to you. If you want to hold them, do. If you want to put them down, even if they cry, that's fine as well.
You can't spoil a baby. Contrary to popular myth, it's impossible for parents to hold or respond to a baby too much, child development experts say. Infants need constant attention to give them the foundation to grow emotionally, physically and intellectually.
It might be sometimes hard to work out what your baby needs when they cry. But even if your crying baby isn't sick, hurt, uncomfortable or hungry, it's still important to comfort them. For example, you could try cuddling or rocking them, taking them for a walk, or giving them a baby massage.
They talk to you. Your baby's very earliest coos will be directed at you or another trusted caregiver – it's their way of saying, “love you too!” By four months, babies will make sounds in response to your voice and turn their head to try to find you when you're talking.
Young babies love being touched and getting your attention, so tickling their belly or feet will get you a smile or laugh in return. As your baby grows into a toddler, this becomes even more of a thrill for them too, not to mention that laughing together helps you to bond and become closer as a family.
When your baby gazes into your eyes when they're in your arms, it's baby's way of expressing they're attracted to you, and want to get to know you even better. Babies will try to copy your facial expressions, test it out by sticking out your tongue when baby is gazing at you, they may well copy.