Tell the person how the silent treatment hurts and leaves you feeling frustrated and alone. That's not what you want or need in a relationship. Explain that you can't resolve issues this way, then be specific about those issues. If this sort of behavior is a relationship deal-breaker for you, state it plainly.
Silence can be a form of avoidance in a relationship when one has an issue with their partner and is unable or unwilling to express it. People who are conflict-averse, for example, may resort to silence as a way of avoiding the possibility of an argument.
Men respond to silence and distance emotionally. When they don't hear from you for a while, their male instinct pushes them to find you and know how you feel. They want to see if you are fine, if you miss them or whether you value their existence. Strangely enough, it doesn't matter if you like him to not.
If your partner is introverted, try to meet them where they're at. Don't try too hard to force conversation. Try to give them as much silence as they need. Check in on them if you are concerned, but do so in a way that makes them feel safe.
But remember, being silent doesn't mean you are no longer connected to your partner. Instead, it is a technique to make your connection stronger. Throughout the period of radio silence, your partner will enjoy the kind of leverage they had wanted. They will enjoy their lives and feel like they are in complete control.
But in a long-term relationship, in a partnership, and in a marriage, silence should feel natural. Instead of being scared of running out of things to say, it's important to embrace the quieter moments. That doesn't mean sitting in silence together all the time—that would be a sign that something's probably off.
The no-contact rule refers to cutting off all contact with an ex following a breakup, and it's the best method for moving on from an ex. No contact should last for a minimum of 60 days, and it includes no texting, no calling, and no interacting on social media.
Bruneau (1973) spoke of three forms of silence: (1) psychological, (2) interactive and (3) sociocultural.
Most psychologists indicate that it depends on the situation. When silence, or, rather, the refusal to engage in a conversation, is used as a control tactic to exert power in a relationship, then it becomes "the silent treatment," which is toxic, unhealthy, and abusive.
Silence can mean many things in interpersonal relationships. It's ambiguous. It can express lots of different emotions ranging from joy, happiness, grief, embarrassment to anger, denial, fear, withdrawal of acceptance or love.
Red flag. The silent treatment might seem like a convenient way to opt out of a conversation that is bothering you but it's also super unhealthy. What most people don't know, is that the cold shoulder is a subtle form of manipulation.
Ideally no more than 1 hour, hopefully less. Say “I will be back in *** (time) to continue the discussion” even if you can only manage to come back to agree to close it down for the time being, or take the matter to counselling.
Positive silence is necessary for strong relationships to last. Healthy silence can show a level of vulnerability and comfort within a relationship. At other times, one or both individuals may need a break from verbal communication, just being content in each other's space.
Research has found that people who received the silent treatment experienced a threat to their needs of belonging, self-esteem, control, and meaningful existence. This type of behavior reinforces the feeling that someone we care about wants nothing to do with us. It can feel as though you don't exist.
The following types of responses can indicate the person is bored with the conversation or doesn't want to talk to you: Using lazy responses like “oh really,” “you're so right,” or “totally.” Mirroring the language you use such as “It's really cold today” with “Yes, it is cold.” Ignoring questions or statements.
Sometimes, one or both partners are busy or tired or just don't feel like talking, and that's completely OK. A healthy, long-term relationship will have its fair share of comfortable silences. It's typically a good sign if you and your SO can enjoy each other's company without even saying a word.
Speak Up and Do your best to Change the negative pattern.
If your partner continues to give you the silent treatment time after time, help him work on redirecting the habit that has developed in his life. Wait until he begins speaking to you again, and then address the issue.