How do you comfort someone with BPD?

But there are lots of positive things you can do to support them:
  1. Be patient.
  2. Don't judge.
  3. Be calm and consistent.
  4. Remind them of their positive traits.
  5. Set clear boundaries.
  6. Plan ahead.
  7. Learn their triggers.
  8. Provide distractions.

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How do you make someone with BPD feel loved?

The following 9 strategies can help you support a person with BPD:
  1. Learn about BPD. ...
  2. Show confidence and respect. ...
  3. Be trustworthy. ...
  4. Manage conflict with attachment. ...
  5. Encourage Professional Help. ...
  6. Identify strengths. ...
  7. Have fun together. ...
  8. Take suicide seriously.

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What do you say to comfort someone with BPD?

Calmly reassure the person with BPD when setting limits. Say something like, “I love you and I want our relationship to work, but I can't handle the stress caused by your behavior. I need you to make this change for me.”

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What are some coping skills for BPD?

You could:
  • Wrap up in a blanket and watch your favourite TV show.
  • Write all your negative feelings on a piece of paper and tear it up.
  • Listen to music that you find uplifting or soothing.
  • Write a comforting letter to the part of yourself that is feeling sad or alone.
  • Let yourself cry or sleep.
  • Cuddle a pet or a soft toy.

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How do you comfort someone with BPD over text?

Here's what they had to say:
  1. “You matter to me.” ...
  2. “People need you. ...
  3. “You are stronger than you think. ...
  4. “My world would be nothing without you.” ...
  5. “I love you and want you in my life.” ...
  6. “Even if it seems small to others, I can understand it's big for you. ...
  7. “You being around is good for me and not hurting me.”

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Supporting Loved One with BPD Quickstart Guide

15 related questions found

What are the best activities for BPD?

Activities like boxing, running, cycling or yoga might be helpful. Taking time for yourself. While social isolation can be detrimental, taking occasional time away from other people can be a good coping skill for BPD. Take the time to be alone, and recharge without the influence of other people.

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What not to say to someone with BPD?

What Not to Say to Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder
  • “You seemed fine earlier.”
  • 2. “ Stop trying to make me feel guilty” / “It's not a big deal” / “You're overreacting”
  • 3.“ Don't be upset” / “Don't be so sensitive” / “Don't worry about it”

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What aggravates BPD?

Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.

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Why do people with BPD push people away?

Push/Pull behaviors

A common theory about why you might use this behavior if you have BPD is because you desperately crave closeness in your relationships but, fearing abandonment, you choose to reject this person before they can reject you.

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What is a BPD Favourite person?

Another hallmark of borderline personality disorder is having a favorite person—usually a family member, romantic partner, or someone in a supportive role, such as a teacher or coach. For someone with this type of BPD relationship, a “favorite person” is someone they rely on for comfort, happiness, and validation.

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What does a BPD episode look like?

Someone with BPD may go to great lengths to feel something, as well as becoming increasingly withdrawn and avoidant during an episode. Thoughts of everyone being out to get them and hating them are common during these times also.

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How does a BPD person think?

People with BPD also have a tendency to think in extremes, a phenomenon called "dichotomous" or “black-or-white” thinking. 3 People with BPD often struggle to see the complexity in people and situations and are unable to recognize that things are often not either perfect or horrible, but are something in between.

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How do you show empathy to someone with BPD?

Practicing Empathy
  1. Take Your Time. Information comes at us so fast these days, it feels like there should be no “wasted space” in a conversation. ...
  2. Validate. Validate the other person's emotions with a nod, with an “I understand,” with a touch. ...
  3. Support. Offer personal support. ...
  4. Listen. ...
  5. Body Language. ...
  6. Respect.

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How do you say sorry with BPD?

If there is some truth in what you're hearing, admit and say something like “I think you're onto something. I can see that I've hurt you and I'm sorry.” Do not tell people with BPD how they should be feeling or behaving.

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How do you show affection to someone with BPD?

In order to foster a strong bond, it's important to know how to love someone with borderline personality disorder in a way that nurtures both of you.
  1. Acknowledge the Realness of BPD. ...
  2. Make Room for Yourself. ...
  3. Stop Rescuing. ...
  4. Encourage High-Quality Treatment. ...
  5. Treatment at Bridges to Recovery.

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How do people with BPD calm down?

If you or a loved one suffer from borderline personality disorder, there are several different ways to cope with the symptoms that can trigger a BPD episode, including: Listen to relaxing music. Exercise – do some yoga or take a long walk. Find support with a loved one or a friend.

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How do you stop BPD outbursts?

8 Tips to Help Manage BPD Anger
  1. Identify Your Warning Signs. Anger can influence your behaviors and actions, even when you're not aware of it. ...
  2. Recognize Your Triggers. ...
  3. Distract Yourself. ...
  4. Step Away & Chill. ...
  5. Assert Yourself. ...
  6. Seek Professional Help. ...
  7. Address Your Stress Levels. ...
  8. Remember to Make a Plan.

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How long is the average BPD relationship?

There's also a lot of anecdotal evidence from other people's experiences that suggest 2-4 years is more common. So, if you want to know how long your relationships might last if you have BPD, it really does depend on the intensity of your condition.

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What is the BPD friendship cycle?

The BPD friendship cycle starts with intense idealization but eventually moves to devaluation once the BPD person's fear of rejection and low self-esteem come into play. To maintain a friendship long-term, it's important to communicate, find support, and avoid getting sucked into the BPD drama.

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What is the best strain for borderline personality disorder?

The best strain for borderline personality disorder is cannabis sativa since it helps ease anxiety and boost mood. However, it's important to be aware of the health risks and side effects that follow marijuana abuse.

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Do people with BPD just want to be loved?

People with BPD strongly desire a deep connection with those around them. This is partly because of their fear of abandonment but because they simply love people and crave deep connections. As a result, people with BPD tend to be very passionate partners.

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How do you tell if a borderline loves you?

If you suspect you're someone with BPD's favorite person, they may exhibit the following signs toward you:
  1. Consistent need for reassurance.
  2. Intense declarations of their love or appreciation for you.
  3. Reaching out more frequently when you don't respond.
  4. Fear that you will leave them or no longer love them.

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Will someone with BPD hurt you?

It is important to remember that while having a relationship with a person with BPD can be challenging, they are not intentionally trying to hurt you. Rather, they lack the ability to understand and cope with their emotional pain, which causes them to act in ways that hurt others.

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When you ignore a person with BPD?

Can You Ignore or Say No to Someone with BPD? You can ignore them if you feel disrespected or unsafe, but do this as a last resort when communicating your boundaries hasn't worked. Acknowledge their feelings, but express that you feel disrespected, upset, or overwhelmed by their current behavior.

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