Avoid lying: try not to make promises you can't keep. Instead, be honest and let your loved one know you are there for them and will do the best you can to be a good friend or partner. Seek outside support: you cannot be solely responsible for your loved one's well-being.
The Dangers of a “Favorite Person” Relationship
Being a favorite person can feel exhausting as well. They may feel pressured to give up other interests or relationships to make their partner happy. It's common for them to feel like they're constantly walking on eggshells to avoid their partner's BPD triggers.
Unfortunately, one of the nine classic symptoms of BPD is having unstable interpersonal relationships, so it's common for people with BPD to either cut off contact with their loved ones or have people walk out of their lives. This dynamic can make losing a favorite person incredibly painful.
Favorite person–borderline personality disorder relationship happens. This FP–BPD relationship is more of an unintentional phenomenon that occurs than actively sought by individuals with BPD. Because FP-ness is internal to those with BPD, FPs do not have a choice to become or stop being an FP.
Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.
Splitting is a psychological mechanism which allows the person to tolerate difficult and overwhelming emotions by seeing someone as either good or bad, idealised or devalued. This makes it easier to manage the emotions that they are feeling, which on the surface seem to be contradictory.
What Is a BPD Favorite Person? While it's normal to have a person that makes you happy with their presence and regular communication, a person with BPD views their favorite person (FP) as someone they cannot live without. Why do people with BPD have a favorite person?
Always needing reassurance from others that they are liked, valued, and appreciated can be a sign of FP. This may manifest as constantly seeking compliments or needing to be that person's center of attention.
If there is some truth in what you're hearing, admit and say something like “I think you're onto something. I can see that I've hurt you and I'm sorry.” Do not tell people with BPD how they should be feeling or behaving.
Someone suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) may start giving you the silent treatment. Manipulation, difficulty controlling and regulating emotions, and the consequences of fear of abandonment are the most common causes of this behavior.
There's also a lot of anecdotal evidence from other people's experiences that suggest 2-4 years is more common. So, if you want to know how long your relationships might last if you have BPD, it really does depend on the intensity of your condition.
For many folks with BPD, a “meltdown” will manifest as rage. For some, it might look like swinging from one intense emotion to another. For others, it might mean an instant drop into suicidal ideation. Whatever your experience is, you're not alone.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) has long been believed to be a disorder that produces the most intense emotional pain and distress in those who have this condition. Studies have shown that borderline patients experience chronic and significant emotional suffering and mental agony.
People with BPD may not have a consistent self-image or sense of self. This may worsen obsessive tendencies, since they may find it difficult to see themselves as real or worthy individually, separate from their relationships.
People with borderline personality disorder have a deep fear of abandonment. They compete for social acceptance, are terrified of rejection and often feel lonely even in the context of an intimate relationship. Therefore, it is more difficult for them to manage the normal ups and downs of a romantic partnership.
Often, the person with BPD will react towards loved ones as if they were the abusers from their past, and take out vengeance and anger towards them. When the person with BPD feels abandoned, they can become abusive or controlling as a way to defend against feelings of abandonment or feeling unworthy.
An impulsive borderline is often highly charismatic, energetic and engaging. They can be superficial, flirtatious and elusive, seeking thrills and becoming quickly bored. Impulsive borderlines thrive on attention and excitement and often get themselves into trouble after acting first and thinking later.
Anxiously attached individuals with borderline personality disorder may relate more to the descriptions of "classic" BPD, where the fear of abandonment and instability in interpersonal relationships are core features. Individuals high on the avoidance dimension have developed negative views of others.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) isn't a personal choice. It's a mental health condition, and it can be managed. Can a person with borderline personality disorder feel love? Absolutely!