Psychologists propose that we experience sexual regret to reinforce the fact that we've made a bad decision—from an evolutionary perspective, at least—so that we won't make such a mistake again in the future.
First, you could try to see if the guilt you feel stems from society's anti-sex attitudes, or if you felt that you did not respect your boundaries enough. If you feel that the guilt stems from other places, take the time to forgive yourself, and take a break from sex if that would help.
Men and women have different regrets.
Women are more likely to regret a hookup, and their emotional response might include shame or self-blame. Men are more apt to regret their partner choice, lamenting their situation if the partner was sexually permissive or unattractive (Paul & Hayes, 2002).
Usually if a man regrets having sex with you, the research tells us that the biggest reasons for his regret revolve around feelings of shame, guilt and disgust (moral, pathogenic and physical). Yes, even men regret sex for those reasons, just a bit less than women do.
This is because men tend to pull away after sex. During sex, oxytocin increases, which has the effect of lowering testosterone. When a man's testosterone levels decrease, he feels a great need to pull away and may even lose interest for a while. As his testosterone levels rebuild, his interest returns.
Guys & Girls Can Both Feel Emotionally Attached After Sex
“Men and women have reported similar experiences when it comes to feelings of attachment after intimacy,” he says. “The difference is how those feelings are expressed. In my experience, men become much less emotionally uninhibited, at least for a short time.
There aren't any specific rules to help you recover after a breakup. Rebound sex, or having sex with one or several new partners, is one way some people choose to deal with it. The excitement of meeting and getting physical with someone new can distract you from feelings of sadness, loss, and rejection.
The 3-Day Rule. This unspoken rule says you must wait approximately three days after a first date before you contact someone again. People follow this rule because they don't want to come off as desperate or too interested. Often, people feel uneasy if the level of desire isn't equal in a relationship.
Oxytocin, affectionately labeled “the bonding hormone,” is another chemical hormone that is released during sexual activity. It produces feelings of trust, emotional intimacy, relaxation, attachment and contentment between people.
Reminder: Sex, including casual sex, causes the brain to release oxytocin, which makes you feel more emotionally tied to the other person(s). Basically, you're biologically wired to attach to any sexual partners, so it's not only common, it's natural.
“If he wants to spend the night, that is actually a very good sign. Obviously, this is assuming you have slept together–but if he stays over, it means he likes you. He likes spending time with you and doesn't want the night to end. This could be a sign that he wants to see you again—and soon!”
If you don't want to see him again, leave soon after sex. Conversely, if you two really spark and he asks you to stay for breakfast, then, of course, do. But if you aren't sure whether you want to see him again, stay long enough to finish your post-coital chat, and as he's drifting off to sleep, slip out.
Yes, guys do tend to care about their FWBs.
In fact, most friends who agree to a friends with benefits arrangement end up feeling closer to one another than they did before the physical relationship started. Most FWB couples end up staying friends in the long run, even long after their sexual relationship ends.
7 Some studies have found a correlation between casual sex and a variety of negative mental health consequences such as anxiety, sadness, feeling bad about oneself, regret, depression, and poor self-esteem.
When a man meets a woman that he loves, he wants to introduce her to friends and family sooner; he wants to move in sooner. Men are just as vulnerable to falling in love after the first sex as women – they may be even more so, because women are pickier.”
Men Need Love and Affection
In plain language: Men often feel most loved by the women in their lives when their partners hug them, kiss them, smile at them, and explicitly offer gratitude, praise, and words of affection. Men also feel loved and connected through sexuality, often to a greater degree than women do.
In general, I would say yes, it's totally possible to be platonic friends with a guy you've slept with. But, of course, it really depends on the guy.
They might be embarrassed. They might think they didn't do well in bed or satisfy you. They might think that they are now obligated to be more to you than they are willing to be right now. It could be that there or someone else and you were a rebound.