Focus on your own feelings
Both Neblett and Gatling agree that if you address someone's emotional unavailability, express how it's affecting you and lead with "I" statements. It's also important to have clear examples of why you think they're emotionally unavailable so that they don't feel ambushed, Neblett emphasizes.
They might not empathize with your feelings. Because they tend to “turn off” emotions and have poor insight, people who are emotionally unavailable might also exhibit low empathy — the inability to understand or share someone else's feelings.
Of course, an emotionally unavailable person can change, but like any personal overhaul, they have to want to do it themselves. “The trick is for you not to try and change them. If they feel that they want to be more involved in your feelings, then they will,” Masini says.
Summary. Emotional detachment can be part of healthy emotion regulation, but it can be harmful if it leads to interpersonal problems. Trauma, mental health conditions, and medication side effects can all cause emotional detachment. Help for emotional detachment depends on the individual, but may include talk therapy.
Emotional detachment may be a temporary reaction to a stressful situation, or a chronic condition such as depersonalization-derealization disorder. It may also be caused by certain antidepressants. Emotional blunting, also known as reduced affect display, is one of the negative symptoms of schizophrenia.
“Though their patience is never enough to make the problem go away, partners in marriage need to know they're loved and wanted and they need to hear it and feel it.” If you're involved with an emotionally unavailable person, your relationship isn't necessarily doomed.
While there is no one explanation for emotional unavailability, it can be caused by a number (or combination) of factors. These include attachment styles developed in childhood, history in relationships, trauma, mental health conditions, and one's circumstances and priorities.
Relationships lose emotional intimacy for simple reasons like busy schedules or difficulty finding quality time together. Or there can be more emotionally-nuanced and complex reasons, from a lack of emotional safety, fear of vulnerability, or underlying tensions in the relationship.
For some people, shutting down emotionally is a response to feeling overstimulated. It doesn't have anything to do with you or how they feel about you. If your husband or partner shuts down when you cry, for example, it may be because they don't know the best way to handle that display of emotions.
Detached love is deep and powerful and abiding. It takes in the whole person and accepts them as they are. It doesn't ask them to dress better or cuss less or quit smoking. Detached love is loving the other exactly as he or she is, while also knowing that at any time the nature of the relationship could change.
Waiting Can Make You Unavailable to Others
It's also important to consider that waiting for your partner could prevent you from pursuing other people. If they're emotionally unavailable, they may not be able to provide you with the commitment and support you're seeking.
Children may also use emotional detachment as a way to cope with a traumatic event. Other mental health conditions. A couple of mental health conditions have as a symptom emotional detachment. Some of these psychological illnesses include bipolar disorder, depression, personality disorders, and PTSD.
Emotional detachment is not recognized as an official disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). However, it is often associated with schizoid personality disorder, which is recognized by the DSM-5, as well as other personality disorders.
In a relationship or marriage emotional neglect is when a partner consistently fails to notice, attend to, and respond in a timely manner to a partner or spouse's feelings. In both instances, it has far-reaching negative consequences for the relationship.
Emotional avoidance is a common reaction to trauma. In fact, emotional avoidance is part of the avoidance cluster of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms, serving as a way for people with PTSD to escape painful or difficult emotions.
The lack of physical touch, emotional connection, and sexual intimacy can lead to feelings of loneliness, depression, and low self-esteem. It can also cause physical symptoms such as headaches, insomnia, and decreased libido.