Postpone your answer. Don't give them an answer on the spot. ...
Question their motivations. Manipulators often hide their real motivations because they don't like to take responsibility for their own actions and behaviors. ...
Emotional manipulators often use mind games to seize power in a relationship. The ultimate goal is to use that power to control the other person. A healthy relationship is based on trust, understanding, and mutual respect. This is true of personal relationships, as well as professional ones.
Emotional manipulation is scary because it can make you doubt everything about yourself: Your worth, your beliefs, even your own perceptions. Emotional manipulators do sometimes have real feelings for you. But their behavior makes that irrelevant in most cases.
They are afraid of vulnerability. Manipulators seldom express their needs, desires, or true feelings. They seek out the vulnerabilities in others in order to take advantage of them for their own benefits and deflect their true motives. They have no ability to love, empathy, guilt, remorse, or conscience.
Do emotional manipulators know what they are doing?
Not everyone who manipulates is actually aware they do. They may think that's how relationships work or even believe you manipulate them too and they need to respond. In some instances, they may be aware of their actions but not of how they affect you.
Emotional abuse is a form of trauma, and trauma is well-established as a serious physical and mental health concern. The number-one reason manipulators prey on your emotions is because that is the quickest and most efficient way to get what they want from you—and to maintain that relationship for the long run.
Manipulative people tend to sway personal opinions, always see their side of the situation, and may never let you have your own opinion because they are always pushing theirs. These toxic individuals tend to play the victim, never taking responsibility for their actions or any actions for that matter.
“Manipulation is an emotionally unhealthy psychological strategy used by people who are incapable of asking for what they want and need in a direct way,” says Sharie Stines, a California-based therapist who specializes in abuse and toxic relationships.
How do you set boundaries with emotional manipulators?
One simple tactic you can use is to simply say, “I think you are deflecting things away from the issue I'm bringing up right now. I feel strongly that there is something here that we need to look at and I'm not willing to just sweep it under the carpet or take the blame.”
People with NPD or narcissistic tendencies sometimes show a pattern of manipulative, controlling behavior that involves both verbal abuse and emotional manipulation. Common types of narcissistic manipulation include: Triangulation.
While anyone can be manipulated, expert manipulators tend to target people with and take advantage of certain personality traits. These traits include: The desire to be liked or to please; these people are more likely to take extraordinary measures to gain favor. Low self-esteem.
Love bombing, or rushing into a relationship too quickly, often with grand gestures and signs of emotional manipulation can be a big red flag because it often “means they feel like they're filling a hole in their life…they're grabbing on to you because you're the answer to everything,” Reed explains.
People manipulate others to get what they want. This type of behavior may have a number of causes including interpersonal dynamics, personality characteristics, a dysfunctional upbringing, attachment issues, or certain mental health conditions.
The goal of fogging is to calmly acknowledge part of the criticism without making any commitments to change. For example, you could say, “I agree that …” or “You are right in that …” without making a big deal about it and then exit the conversation.
